Aleksandr Orlov. The funny little meerkat every British household wants a doll of, just to have him given to your dog as a Christmas present.
Now the proud mascot of Moscow as he was the first to celebrate the Russian success.
In a fixed vote, Masterchev News asked Aleksandr to compare the crime rate between Britain and Russia. Predictably, Orlov didn't want to know. We then asked him to compare stadiums as well as the temperature.
Orlov then insisted he only compared meerkats, and doesn't know where the fuck we can compare those items.
Missing Vladimir Putin, Orlov had fun celebrating Russian success with Sepp Blatter.
"Russia is win. Simples. My great grand-pappy was famous meerkat player for Russia squad. He was also foreman in Russian mafia. Simples!"
Englishmen are expected to sulk over the next few days, whilst the untimely death of Paul the Psychic Octopus has been confirmed as an "unofficial Russian assassination" these days.
"Without Paul, the British team are doomed. They'd have to have some washed up footballer speaking instead!"
Celebrations are expected to continue in Russia for a few days, despite criticisms that Russia couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.
Oh the irony.
