England's World Cup Bid failure explained

Funny story written by Everyman

Thursday, 2 December 2010

image for England's World Cup Bid failure explained
England team look at Lineker turd

England's latest world cup failure is easy to explain. It has nothing to do with handbags, wags or Panorama - but has a more down to earth explanation - Gary Lineker's confession that he had shat himself during a game in the 1990 World Cup Finals.

Soiling oneself is seen as a taboo subject when it comes to behaviour - or if it's too late for behaviour then comment - by most societies. Nevertheless Gary Lineker saw fit to announce to the world that he had crapped his shorts whilst playing for his country just days before the crucial decision.

According to a FIFA delegate: "In my culture, if you do caca in your pants you are both bullied and the age of eight. If England think that I would vote for a country that produces such a person well, they are shitting in the wrong pants." Despite the fact that the idiom doesn't actually exist in English, they had got their message across.

Russia was delighted at its being awarded the 2018 world cup. Vladimir Putin told a packed press conference:" Nearly pissed myself laughing - but it's too late now!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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