This Week's Guest Editor: Surrealist artist MARCEL DUCHAMP Dear Marcel, please can you help me? My grandad is in nursing care and my gran has been seeing another man at the day centre. I visit grandad in the home and he thinks gran still loves him. Grandad is coming out of the nursing home for Christmas Day and we are all going round to Mum's. I'm dreading Christmas dinner. Hayley, Gre...Read full story
Life is Stranger Than Spoof #3
This is a new feature in the Spoof. It is the stuff you can't Spoof, it is already a spoof on it's own. I'll scourer the net and bring it to you with no fuss no muss, all of it unfortunately true to life. There are times when I find myself writing stories I can't improve upon so I thought I should share some of these. Here is: Life is Stranger Than Spoof, 12 Year Old Boy Attacked Nude Ma...Read full story
Vick Seeks Canary as First Rehab Step
Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback Michael Vick says he is so eager to own a pet dog again that he'd be willing to enter a 12-step rehabilitation program where he could "work my way up a ladder of other pets before regaining the right to own a dog," he...Read full story
Kop Silenced By Utrecht Fans In Europa League Bore Draw
It seems that Roy Hodgson isn't too concerned about his tenure at Anfield, which is a little strange, when one considers that the former Fulham boss appears to have aged significantly over the past few traumatic weeks. Last night's Europa League c...Read full story
George W Bush to launch new eponymous British super-sub
Barrow-in-Furnace - (Hunt 4 Red October Stuff): Britain's latest state-of-the-art submersible HMS Am Bush is to be launched on Thursday. The £1.2billion 7,400-tonne nuclear war machine will be unveiled digitally by the ex-President. It's supp...Read full story
Coalition Government Disbands Over Shambolic Secret Santa
The UK has tonight been plunged into yet another political crisis as the coalition government has dramatically disbanded over a shambolic Secret Santa involving the most senior government ministers. According to breaking reports, the Secret Santa...Read full story
Vannessa Hudgens Stops Sending Zac Efron Nude Pictures of Herself, He Kicks Her to the Curb
Hollywood's, golden, it couple for the last four years, have decided to un-it, it. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens have broken up after their long term relationship has run it's natural course. According to inside sources Zac had been recieving nu...Read full story
Bonkettes Lined Up For Prestigious Oasis Christmas Eve Gig
The stand-in manager of the greatest girl band ever, The Bonkettes, today called an impromptu press conference at a leading London hotel, in order to confirm that talks regarding the Bonkettes headlining a prestigeous Christmas Eve gig at The Oasis B...Read full story
Yet another leak
In another leaked memo it appears that the government is at odds with the palace regarding the burgeoning cost of the next royal wedding when William Windsor marries his granite faced commoner. The total cost is being withheld for the present, but we...Read full story
Arm, Spoof writer extraordinaire, searches for Skoob's illigitamm...ilegitim...illagt....'little bastards'
Below is a letter sent to Mr. Arm of The Spoof who put out an online request for children 'sired' by Skoob - also of The Spoof. Dr. Mr. Arm, My cousin told me you were searching for children 'sired' by a Mr. Skoob. My mother explained to me events leading up to my conception. When you have read the following - you will be aware of the reason I am contacting you at this time. Appar...Read full story
Zanessa break up publicity stunt
Yesterday disturbing news about Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens broke out and distressed millions of dedicated fans! After some speculation and some false confirmations it appears that the two are still very much together and in love. 'The whole sh...Read full story
World's Worst Shot Commits Suicide by School Board
Clay Duke, an ex-convict, shot up and held a school board meeting hostage Tuesday. Duke was apparently distraught over the firing of his wife. Duke released the gallery of people at the meeting intent on getting revenge for his wife's dismissal.Read full story
Congress Debates Boehner's Orange Penis
(Inside-the-Beltway, District of Columbia) - Following a recent revelation by "Weeper of the House" John Boehner that his penis is, in fact, orange like the rest of him, both the upper house and the lower house of Congress have launched hearings on t...Read full story
The Alcoholics Monthly
Hello! And welcome to the fifth edition of Alcoholics Monthly. First off, thanks to Gerald Nosegay for his informative narration on how to hide piss stains on the trousers. I did not know one could buy a battery operated iron. There are going to be some changes to the Christmas dinner menu. Yes, I know you are all up in arms, but the vodka bath has been punctured so we will have to go wi...Read full story
Sky to launch ADHD TV
Global megalomaniac Rupert Murdoch has unveiled a brand new age of television. First we had HD TV, then there was 3D TV and now Sky have brought us ADHD TV. ADHD TV has already been met with strong criticism by techno-geeks who are still getting...Read full story
George Michael Admits He Gave His Arse Away Last Christmas
Controversial singer, George Michael, apparently gave his arse away last Christmas, only for the unnamed person to whom he gave it away, to give it away to somebody else. The controversial singer/songwriter made his frank admission in a London rec...Read full story
Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Barely-Used Fitness Equipment, ...Get Your Barely-Used Fitness Equipment Here!
(Associated Benchpress) - It's that time of year again when people buy for themselves and each other all sorts of home fitness gadgets to be used for getting in shape throughout the New Year. The big problem is that there is currently too much raw material tied up in existing home gym equipment that ultimately remains dormant. As a result, manufacturers are asking the public to turn in their o...Read full story
'Aloof ' Russian spy Katia Zatuliveter was just cold 'because her miniskirts were too damned short!'
London - (Frozen Ass Mess): Forget red top pundits' silly psychobabbling: gorgeous blonde Russian bombshell Katia Zatuliveter is not frigid - she merely has a frozen ass. A PR statement said today that for years the spookette had swallowed the glo...Read full story
Transfusion Cures AIDS, And No One Thought To Try It In 28 Years.
Scientists who have been working for decades to cure the plague of the 20th century -AIDS, secondary to HIV infection- have finally found a way to cure it: A blood transfusion. "In retrospect, that probably should have been the first thing we t...Read full story
Willow Smith Turns Down R. Kelly Collaboration
(Chicago, IL - December 15, 2010)… The music world received disappointing news today as industry sources have reported that a rumored collaboration between Grammy Winning R&B Mega-Star R. Kelly and Pop music's favorite up-and-coming celbri-fetus,...Read full story
Simon Cowell Begs Mick Jagger To Be A Judge On His New American Show, 'X-Factor'
HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell, aka The British Bulldog, was in Tinsel Town taking care of business matters regarding his brand new show X-Factor. The singing reality show is a spin-off of his highly successful X-Factor from London, England. Cowell h...Read full story
WikiLeaker Uses Obama Birth Certificate To Get Out Of British Jail
Sources close to Dr. Viscount Billingsgate revealed to the renowned holder of 12 Doctorates that Julian Assange, purportedly arrested for the trumped-up charges of violating the vaginal sanctity of two scum bag Swedish heifers, threatened to reveal a...Read full story
GOP Announces: "Get in Touch With Your Inner Feelings Day!"
The GOP taking its lead from Congressman John Boehner has announced that the weekend after the new members are sworn in, they will spread out all across America for a National Get in Touch With Your Inner Feelings Day. The members will meet prior...Read full story
"Plan B, C or possibly even D?"
The Government's (or what passes for one) bold scheme to repair the economy appears to be going tit's up at warp speed. So much so, that it has emerged top Government mandarin, Cabinet Secretary Sir Gus 'Wun Hung Lo' O'Donnell has privately urged par...Read full story
Neil Diamond Inducted to Rock Hall of Fame; Elderly Women Swoon
Neil Diamond, perhaps best known for some of his slightly up-tempo ballads and sugar coated lyrics has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, to the muffled and often toothless cheers of his 90 year old female fan base. While nobody di...Read full story
Cheryl Cole's Shocking Revelation Regarding Black Eyed Peas Member will.i.am
FLAGSTAFF, Arizona - Cheryl Cole and her boyfriend Derek Hough were in Arizona visiting the Grand Canyon, which many believe will be condemned within the coming year by President Obama. Cole and Hough were having a great time taking photographs, l...Read full story
Kim Kardashian Signs Deal With Implant Manufacturer
Recently named as having the "Best Butt" in the world for 2010, Kim Kardashian has just inked an agreement with Meddiplant Corporation to produce a full line of butt-implants for the "caboose challenged", as Kim likes to call it. Working closely...Read full story
Lindsay Lohan Backs Out of Lead in Remake of "Splendor in the Grass" After Learning It's a Love Story, Not a Drug Story!
Dina Lohan, the controlling behind the scenes Mother from Hell, said she was furious after learning that daughter Lindsay had refused to sign the contract for the lead in the remake of "Splendor in the Grass" that had helped Natalie Wood shoot to sta...Read full story
Voyager 1 "Near the edge of the Solar System"
Voyager 1, the most distant man made object from Earth is approaching the edge of the Solar System, and is expected to cross it in less than five years. Voyager 1 was launched in 1977 initially to have a look at Jupiter and Saturn, but after it ha...Read full story
Dog Sues For Divorce
Toowomba, Australia-The man who married a dog here last month, now regrets his hasty actions. The dog he married is suing for divorce and asking for a princely sum in alimony. Although it was a seemingly pleasant relationship insiders say things w...Read full story
Diplopia Society Pleased With Turnout at Annual Meeting
The Diplopia Society of America was pleased to announce a two-fold increase in attendance at its annual meeting compared with last year. In addition an unusually large number of twins chose to attend. leading to speculation that genetics might be an...Read full story
Fans of Autoerotic Asphyxiation Forced to Catch Their Breath as San Jose Bans Plastic Bags!
Following the lead of San Francisco, San Jose has banned the use of plastic bags leaving many kinky sex practitioners and pet owners puzzled as they try to deal with their own 'hang ups" and "personal shit." "It's a F***g nightmare," said Joe...Read full story
Sighting of Mother Teresa in Bangalore, India, stops traffic!
Bangalore Herald, Bangalore, India, 15.11.2010: A shock sighting of Mother Teresa stopped the traffic in it's tracks today (a nearly impossible occurrence!) The sensational sight of a renicarnated Mother Teresa was enough to create chaos in the st...Read full story
Blair Comeback Shock
WikiPours have issued another leaked cable. This time it is from America's CIA to Britain's MI5. Top Secret. 'Organise the return of Tony Blair to Premiership 2011. What is needed for this?' 'First he has to become an M.P. again. This can be through a bye election if a Labour M.P. from a safe seat dies.' 'We are not waiting' 'Right. Understood. Then Tony has to be elected as leader of...Read full story
New Leak Sensation
A new organisation - WikiPours - has taken over from WikiLeaks. Their first sensational revelation is a cable sent from the White House by a person named SAP to David Cameron. We have seen this cable and can only show part of it in order to protec...Read full story
Publishers Slammed For Misleading Readers Over Language
A couple of British tourists have lambasted publishing houses for luring unwary readers into buying books they can't understand. Ken and Liz Bonkers, of Harlesden, north London, recently returned from a visit to Florence but claim their excursion...Read full story
India employ "Holy Cows" as traffic police, they're the only one's that can stop the traffic!
Bangalore Herald, Bangalore, India: Indian authorities have decided enough is enough! The traffic in India's major cities is total madness and mayhem and Indian drivers refuse to obey anybody. The police stand on the corners, crossings, traffic li...Read full story
Man United restaurant closed in Bangalore, India, it's too dangerous for pedestrians to access!
Bangalore Herald, Bangalore, India: Manchester United's spanking new restaurant in Bangalore has been forced to close because the location is much too dangerous for pedestrians to access. During the opening ceremony there were concerns that the co...Read full story
President Obama Books Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz To Perform At The Annual White House Christmas Party
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has verified that President Barack Obama has in fact booked the Saudi Arabian hip hop rap band Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz to perform at the Annual White House Christmas Party. Co...Read full story
Mexican drug dealers have control over New York City
Police authorities believe that a crime lord from Sinaloa, Mexico is behind the dumping of four bodies alongside a deserted parkway at a beach on New York's Long Island. "We have evidence that points to the fact that a serial killer is being used...Read full story
Local Man Maxes Out Four Credit Cards On TV Christmas Shopping Spree
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, this morning revealed to a Skoob News reporter how he maxed out four credit cards whilst watching late night TV shopping channel QED. Shuttlecock explained that he'd been enjoying some pre Christmas holiday time that...Read full story
The Real Reasons Why General George Armstrong Custer and His Seventh Cavalry Were Massacred At The Battle of The Little Big Horn
Noted Old West military historian Van Buren Watertree has just published his latest book entitled The Unsugarcoated Truth About George Armstrong Custer And His Seventh Cavalry Troops At The Battle of The Little Bighorn. Watertree has uncovered ten never before known facts why Custer and his Seventh Cavalry were massacred in 1876 in Montana, at what has come to be known as Custer's Last Stand.Read full story
There has been a major crisis at the North Pole as an unidentified elf announced that Santa Clause "aka Chris Kringle" has been admitted into a psychiatric hospital for exacerbation of anxiety. The elf, who wished to remain anonymous and is not a...Read full story
Neprudentianalothal on shelves soon
Doctor Alonzo Carpathian, the world's leading authority and researcher on small parasitic insects of the family Cimicidae, or more commonly called Cimex lectularius, or bedbugs, disclosed recently at a seminar held in Bulgaria, at the Consortium Regu...Read full story
Shock: Lady Luck Spurns Those In Need
A local man was heard to say that 'Lady Luck was gonna shine on him some day', in a local bar this evening. However, locals who were present spoke out against this rather 'sunny' outlook on life and argued that the aforementioned 'Lady' was in fac...Read full story