WEST HOLLYWOOD - Jason Trawick, speaking from the front porch of a very close male friend of his, but not a gay one, has flat out stated that he never beat his girlfriend noted singer Britney Spears.
Trawick did note that Spears was always walking around the house naked and lip syncing to her hit songs including, "My Skin Is Just Itching To Be Touched," "Oops It Looks Like It's My Little Ole Pink Playpen Again," and "Hey U Lust Is Just An Anagram 4 Slut."
JT said that Britney started drinking a lot; beer, wine, whiskey, and vodka. He stressed that she could not hold her alcohol and as a result she was prone to falling down a lot and getting bruises on her face, neck, back, arms, legs, tits, and both labia's, majora and minora.
He said that once she even managed to bruise her uvula, but then he thought about it and remembered that, that particular incident had actually happened during a playful game of fellatio.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Britney's maid, Mandy Sandy Stillaquamish, 38, said that Britney's favorite song is one by the 70s band, The Guard Dogs of Drizzle Brickyard. The song which is entitled "If You See Kay, Let Me Know" is a play on words and Stillaquamish said that she actually saw Brit fall down six times while lip syncing to this particular song.]