Written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 2 December 2010

image for ATT to Release 5G Network Early 2011
The new 5G antenna looks suspiciously like 1970's television technology

Thumbing its proverbial corporate nose at Verizon Wireless and the success of their 4G network, ATT reportedly plans to step over 4G technologies with fifth generation wireless speed and smart phone solutions before Spring of 2011.

ATT's closely guarded secret hit news wires this morning following the resignation of one of its top network communication engineers. Insiders at ATT's research and development labs tell reporters that the outbound engineer, who in pure prima donna fashion, changed his name to "Speed", (apparently "Bandwidth" was already taken), had been frustrated about the new network configuration not being called "6G".

Though marketing executives liked that idea, leapfrogging well over the 4G advertising penetration of its largest competitor, senior management at ATT thought better of having to explain how they got to a sixth generation of technology, when the fifth generation hadn't been released yet. "We're going to stick with 5G, because that is what it is. Kind of snappy, representative of the technology, easy to say, easy to print, doesn't require too many graphics to advertise, recognizable in most any language, short, sweet, and best of all, is one more that 4G", says ATT Lab Director Don Taakmuch.

Testing begins in earnest throughout the Midwest this winter and service plans covering both Boise and Peoria will be available by March, 2011.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Mobile Phones, ATT

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