Written by Chamone

Tuesday, 21 July 2009

image for The Daily Mail's Famous "Worlds' Hardest, Smallest Crossword" To Be Made Harder and Smaller
Memo to self: Must stop writing on head.....

Reacting to comments by its rabid readership, The Daily Mail has decided to make its infamous 'Hardest, Smallest' crossword puzzle tougher and teensier.

"Our readership are generally crackpots with nothing better to do or others who simply picked up the wrong paper by mistake, but we always try to give them what they want - or what we decide they should want. If they want it harder and shorter, then by Jericho, they'll get it in spades", said the newspapers puzzle editor - who also takes care of choosing which 'humorous' pictures of cute animals will be put on every second page of the paper each day.

As it stands, the puzzles usually employ really stupid clues to solving 2 to 4 letter words. The new plan is to make the clues even stupider and the words much, much shorter.

"The answers will be around the 1 or 2 word mark. And the clues will be so obscure that hardly anyone will understand them In fact we're thinking of putting the words in Babylonian script just to make it extra satisfying for the arrogant snooty bastards who bother doing the fucking puzzles in the first place", added the Mail bastard.

But, as every one knows, the real reason for turning to the puzzle pages is to read the cartoons. There will be a serious attempt to make them funnier or at least make them actually qualify as 'funny'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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