Keeping Our End Up

Written by defabled

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Intelligence Gathering Agencies in the U.K. have disclosed the effect of stress on their operatives in a new report out today. It has long been known that terrorist cells have been communicating with each other through pornographic web sites.

In a surge of patriotism many intelligence operatives volunteered to monitor these sites on an almost 24/7 basis.

However the report shows that the constant monitoring of these sites has resulted in a ten fold increase in health problems....the most common being:

  • Repetitive Strain Injury of the wrists (from the increased keyboard activity)
  • Eye Problems (from the close up monitoring of the V.D.U.)
  • Breathing Problems. (particularly heavy and shallow breathing)
  • Increased toilet breaks
  • Hernias
  • and Marital Problems brought about by the excessive overtime.

Section leaders stated this is an indictment of our troubled times, but such is the level of commitment that exhausted staff had to be physically removed from their stations. Work colleagues had cancelled holidays to be on a rota to replace the exhausted staff.

When asked if any intercepts had been detected, a spokesman for the agencies replied: "Yes..Yes..Oh God...Yes!'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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