Secret Behind Lady GaGa's Poker Face Revealed!

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Tuesday, 11 August 2009


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How'd I turn my shirt inside out?

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta played strip poker with RoboByte Records executives in a mansion, where she removed her pleather and sequins, but not her smut and sass, said a source.

RoboByte producer BigRedOne showed his appreciation for the endeavor by stacking the deck, dealing her international Fame as dance-plop sensation Lady Gaga in a hand that included the single "P-P-P-Poker Face."

Gaga never lost her own poker face, even as she rode her hand to the top of global plop charts, climaxing at number one after releasing the electro-plop nugget.

The song, which hit number one in nearly every major music market in the world, is based entirely on a hook with a well-proven subliminal sales track record previously used by artists as diverse as Timbaland and One Republic, Tracy Chapman, and the Cranberries.

At first inspection, the lyrics to "P-P-P-Poker Face" appear to be about sex and gambling, and they are - they deal with fantasizing about posing as a legitimate songwriter, screwing her listening audience out of their money while secretly being in bed with the music industry after the now infamous strip poker incident.

"Poker Face" has been well-received by critics, who praised its robotic hook and chorus, though it is unknown if these critics had been advised the song actually was written by a robot known as G. Sharp Major 092008.

Her vocal range is said to be only five notes in the company of a "stud," though the singer is reportedly able to "draw" out seven notes in the company of Lady Starlight, who designs all of Gaga's most innovative costumes.

Lady Gaga's biggest contribution to her own career seems to have been when she appeared semi-nude in a plastic bubble of a career on the cover of the annual "Hot 100" issue of Rolling Blown magazine in May 2009.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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