Inside Warren Jeff's baby factory
Eldorado - (Lurid Mess): Federal agents have found over $3 million in child bride cash receipts, virginity and fertility testing kits, impregnation rotas, pregnancy testing equipment and midwifery records at fundamentalist nutter Warren Jeffs'
Read full storyHillary and Elton John are both LIARS
Elton John calls America sexist.. sorry Elton you are sexist. America hates that liar Hillary Clinton for who she is, not her sex.
Read full storySony Announces Blu-Ray Player Combo - Plays Betamax Tapes
Electronics giant Sony announced today that it will soon be selling a combination Blu-Ray and Betamax player. Now that Blu-Ray has won the high definition DVD format war, Sony is hoping to restore some credibility to Betamax while giving something ba...
Read full story'One law for the proles and another for mothers like Kate McCann' sobs Karen Matthews
Dewsbury, West Yorks - (Appalling Mess): "Is it because I'm fat, dumb and can't simper in front of the Pope like a rich, educated blonde?"...
Read full storyOprah-Michelle Obama catfight! Oprah calls Barack "my husband"; Michelle screams "Ya'll get off ma man!"
Ever since she openly endorsed Obama, Oprah has seen her popularity fizzle. First it was her angry fans - middle-aged white women - who happen to be Hillary Clinton's biggest supporters - who lashed out at her.
Read full storyGet Over It America!
Can I just say, Daniel Radcliffe is English and therefore belongs to us! All you American girls that fancy him, get to the back of the line because us English girls have been at the front ever since his cupboard-under-the-stairs days.
Read full storyMax Mosley resigned from FIA in order to pursue career in Porn
Motor sport boss Max Mosley resigned from FIA in order to pursue career in Porn Industry it has been reported.
Read full storyCalifornia Democrats "purify" Delegates
California, USA: campaign operatives for Sen. Obama & Sen. Clinton set to work ensuring that only true supporters may become official delegates from the State convention and go on to the Democratic national meeting in Denver, Colorado. Both candidat...
Read full storyProof that Shannon Matthews is adopted
Police say they have proof that shows Shannon Matthews is not the biological daughter of Karen Matthews.
Read full storyMental Illness Epidemic at Call Centers
(Atlanta GA) The Center for Disease Control (CDC) in Atlanta declared today mental illness is epidemic at call centers in this country and abroad. Schizophrenia, depression, mania, and paranoia infects 100% of call takers.
Read full story'Virgin' Mary was drunk
The Virgin Mary (second name unknown), has said that she cannot remember much about the night of her 'immaculate conception', because she was pissed out of her mind on cheap vodka.
Read full storyBillionaire couple busted for crack dealing at US embassy party
London - (Narcotic Mess): The ambassador's parties may be noted for their glamor and sophistication. But this week's message is 'Ferrero Rocher eat your heart out.'...
Read full storyElton John Divorces his glasses
Elton John has divorced his glasses today, every single one of them. According to Elton, all they have brought him is pain, especially the pink starry ones.
Read full storyAfrican Tribe to run the London Marathon wearing nothing but a smile
TV reporter Norma Snockers has announced that "six Masai Warriors from a remote village in Tanzania are going to run the London Marathon using only a shield and a spear to conceal their meat and two veg."...
Read full storyOfficial Global Warming Denial Talking Points
The Republican Party Academy of Science has released its official Global Warming Denial Talking Points.
Read full storyOlympic torch equipped with "Klingon Cloaking Device" -- Now impervious to Int'l human rights protesters and even the media
San Francisco, California - The 2008 Beijing Olympic committee yesterday ordered the Olympic torch vanguard to field test it newly installed "Klingon Cloaking Device" in San Francisco yesterday for the very first time, causing it to disappe...
Read full storyPortable Lie Detectors Reveal Taliban Intentions
The United States Government has announced that its military will be handing out hand-held lie detectors to "accurately access" situations when dealing with members of the Taliban and Al Qieda.
Read full storyAmerican Airlines downsizing fleet, upsizing fear
As American Airlines canceled more than 1,000 flights this week to inspect wiring on its jets, the company made good on its pledge to disrupt passengers' schedules as little as possible by contracting with owners of single-engine planes and crop-...
Read full storyLollipop stick ship sails for England
A Viking ship made from lollipop sticks set sail for England from the Netherlands on Tuesday.
Read full storyHaiti leader demands end to bread riots: "Let them eat cake"
Haiti's President Déficit has ordered people to stop rioting over soaring bread prices.
Read full storyMax Mosley Opus Dei cronies suspected in London paper's fascist party ad campaign
London - (Lurid Ass Mess): Cronies of Nazi S&M orgy fanatic Max Mosley are suspected to be behind a North London newspaper's acceptance of the British National Party's advertising material.
Read full storyKaren Matthews Recruited By ITV For New Series Of 'Bad Girls'
Karen Matthews, the mother of neglected 9-year-old schoolgirl Shannon Matthews, has landed a starring role in the next series of ITV1 prison drama Bad Girls.
Read full story"The Bitch is Back" as Elton John endorses Hillary
New York - (Ass Mess): Not to be outdone with Barack Obama's hiring of Monty Python actor John Cleese as his Democratic nomination strategy scriptwriter Hillary Clinton has named Elton John as her official campaign minstrel.
Read full story'Stuff the Saudis' High Court judges say
London - (Sordid Mess): 'A blatant case of bribery' was Lord Justice Moses' verdict today about Tony Blair suborning the Serious Fraud Office probe of the state-run arms dealer BAe's dodgy dealings with Sordid Arabia's Prince Band...
Read full storyUS Contracts with Zimbabwe to Print Inflationary Dollars
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke today announced that they have contracted with the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe to print inflationary American dollars.
Read full storyBlackjack Dealer Claims He's First Pregnant Man-Lizard
LAS VEGAS, NV - Meet Steven Scales. At a full seven months pregnant, it is he, and not Thomas Beatie, who can legitimately claim the title of world's first pregnant man. What makes Steven's story even more remarkable, though, is the fact th...
Read full storyDaniel Radcliffe Takes Little Harry on a Worldwide Tour
London: It has just been announced that the second leg of the third leg tour will commence in New York this fall. Daniel Radcliffe will star in the US revival of Peter Shaffer's Equus.
Read full storyTetris Builders
Builders throughout the world will now receive their training by playing Tetris, rather than on building sites.
Read full storyOlympics Set For Tibet Switch
The Olympic Games, scheduled to take place in Beijing in June, could face a last-minute switch to Tibet, if sources inside the romantic fantasy mountain kingdom are to be believed.
Read full storyMax Mosley DVD Goes On Sale
Formula 1 boss Max Mosley releases his new DVD today amid a storm of controversy, with protestors claiming that several women starring in the movie weren't real prostitutes, but actresses.
Read full storyPope decries Pregnant Man's pregnancy: "Emasculate Conception!" Thomas Beatie's self-proclaimed miracle and campaign for sainthood fails
Vatican City - Today in Vatican City before the voting body of the College of Cardinals summoned by Pope Benedict XVI for a special counsel on the matter of the pregnancy of Thomas Beatie (a transgender male) being declared a miracle, the Pope sudden...
Read full storyOlympic torch enters witness protection program; San Francisco protesters not deterred
San Francisco, California - The politically enlightened citizens of San Francisco, as so known as "The City of Brotherly Love," showed some tough love today as they repeatedly attempted an intervention on behalf peoples of Tibet struggling...
Read full storyNY Cardinal Egan Hires Goonies to Break Up Teacher Strikes
Back in the 70's and 80's NY Cardinal Egan was a lowly assistant bishop in charge of education in the NY archdiocese. He became famous among lay teachers for his tough negotiation of contracts. Egan actually told the NY Daily News that the ba...
Read full storyBush Bestows Keys to the Corporation Corpse America Kingdom on Petraeus
Bible-banger Bush, USA CEO for almost eight long, long years has decided to transfer power to an heir apparent.
Read full storyMoe Dowdy Takes Claws Out of Hillary Long Enough to Sink Her Fangs into US General!
NY Times Op-ed witch, Moe Dowdy should be evaluated on the politics page but her dirty dishing during this primary season and the cat fight she has conducted against Senator Clinton has banished all comment about her to the gossip page.
Read full storyMcCain denies "bad, nasty temper"
In a recent TV interview, presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain vehemently denied reports from various internet websites, newspaper columns and articles, and a new book, The Real McCain by Cliff Schecter, that his temper is a serious problem...
Read full storyVoodoo Practitioners Hold Model Election!
Putting democracies and other pseudo-representative governments across the world to shame, Haitian Voodoo practitioners have pulled off a model election.
Read full storyGuy Played Soccer Once
(New York) While watching Saturday's Arsenal/Liverpool match on FSC at his friend's apartment, soccer fan Dan Milne wowed everyone gathered with anecdotes about his first season in junior league soccer.
Read full storyCast Announced For Hobbit Movie
Peter Jackson won many Oscars for his Lord of the Rings trilogy, but has decided not to direct the prequel. Instead, Guillermo Del Toro (Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth) will helm this new film set in an earlier time in Middle Earth.
Read full storyObama Joins New Church
Last month, Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama was under intense political pressure due to anti-white and anti-American slurs made by the clergyman of his Illinois church. In order to avoid the backlash from that negative publicity, the...
Read full storySecrets of New Indiana Jones Movie Revealed
"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" will be released on May 22nd. Hollywood experts already project that this will be the biggest movie of the year in the United States and in the world. This fourth installment will still...
Read full storyMan Arrested for Street Sex with Lamp
A 32 year old Bristol man has been arrested after having sex with a lamp and it's shade in a residential area.
Read full storyBeloved Hero Taken by Botulism
Chester, IL -- Popeye the Sailor, beloved hero and celebrity, died yesterday as the result of botulism poisoning. In an ironic twist of fate, the old sailor ingested the deadly toxin from the vegetable he has championed for almost a...
Read full storyBirmingham City Owners in Dildo Riddle
Police have been left in a state of dildo confusion after arresting Birmingham City Football Club co-owner David Sullivan and the club's minging director Karen Brady.
Read full storyMcCain Picks Running Mate
Republican Presidential Candidate and Arizona Senator John McCain chose his Vice Presidential running mate for the upcoming election. In a move that was of little surprise to anyone, he went with Condoleezza Rice.
Read full storyWal-Mart Video Library Embarrasses Company
Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer of videos, is now fighting company videos that are on the market. The new presentations show over thirty years of taped Wal-Mart executive and share holder meetings at their world headquarters in Bentonville, A...
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