Olympic torch enters witness protection program; San Francisco protesters not deterred

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Thursday, 10 April 2008

image for Olympic torch enters witness protection program; San Francisco protesters not deterred
The City of Brotherly Love showed some tough love today as they attempted an intervention on a dysfunctional world

San Francisco, California - The politically enlightened citizens of San Francisco, as so known as "The City of Brotherly Love," showed some tough love today as they repeatedly attempted an intervention on behalf peoples of Tibet struggling for religious and political freedom by trying to extinguish the Olympic torch headed for Beijing later this year.

It was not the first time the Olympic torch has drawn protesters into the streets as many around the world have done the same, however, it is the first and last time the torch will be appearing in North America under its own name thanks in part to protesters in San Francisco.

"We had to ask the federal government to enter the Olympic torch into its witness protection program well in advance of the North America tour in San Francisco," said a spokesman for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Committee. "We had expected to play on the city's reputation as "The City of Brotherly Love" to be used later in the promotion campaign and material for the up coming 2008 Olympics in Beijing but that' all gone now. But at least the Olympic torch will continue and conclude its tour still lit, only using several undisclosed aliases and decoys along the way."

Today Federal agents in San Francisco deployed the first decoy, as the torch seems to disappear into a warehouse. Only to reappear in another part of the city later when it actually continued it tour on the original planed route disguised as a Bic Lighter carried in the Hemp sack of a San Francisco Police Department undercover narcotics officer disguised as 1960s Hippie.

Protesters, however, were on the look out for any aliases, decoys the Olympic torch would be traveling under, or using, in San Francisco.

Vowing to continue their peaceful protest to enlighten the world of the struggle that Tibet faces with China and now with its corporate allies, fronting as government stooges for so-called world peace only interested in its profits. All while Tibet's cries for religious and political freedom go virtually un-addressed there, San Francisco protesters held true to their word despite authorities having to result to hide-and-seek and bait and switch tactics in the end, even from the media.

"We think there are trying to pass off the torch as Bic Lighters, match sticks and even trick birthday candles. You know, the ones you can't blowout," said a protester as he walked down San Francisco streets blowing on every artificial manmade device that ignited.

Last report had the Olympic torch attempting to board an international flight where it was finally extinguished, however, not by any protesters but TSA agents enforcing federal public safety regulations.

"That's ironic," said a protester. "That's what we wanted all along and for the same reason, too. Only on a much larger scale to symbolize the hypocrisy to the public but in public."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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