Karen Matthews Recruited By ITV For New Series Of 'Bad Girls'

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 10 April 2008

image for Karen Matthews Recruited By ITV For New Series Of 'Bad Girls'
Crescents, not croissants! Although...

Karen Matthews, the mother of neglected 9-year-old schoolgirl Shannon Matthews, has landed a starring role in the next series of ITV1 prison drama Bad Girls.

Matthews, 32 but looking much older, is under arrest for Attempting To Pervert The Course Of Justice and also for Neglect, and is being held by police in Dewsbury, West Yorkshire.
The whole town has turned against her.

There was good news for the troubled Chav this morning, however, when ITV producers of the popular jail show contacted Matthews to offer her the role of Kaz, a thirtysomething, down-at-heel mother-of-seven with huge crescents under her eyes that make her look like she hasn't slept for months.

Kaz, say producers, 'runs' a high security wing in the jail, where prisoners who cannot, or will not, conform to the normal prison regime are housed.
It's known as K-Wing.

In real life, Matthews' life is a real drama. Her boyfriend, Craig Meehan, is also under arrest, along with countless other family members, and ITV producers have not ruled out the possibility of writing a show specifically about the hapless miscreants.

Legal Aid officer Lenny Nochance, appointed to represent Matthews, said:

"Whatever next? You couldn't make this lot up."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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