Proof that Shannon Matthews is adopted

Funny story written by Joey Joe Joe Jnr Shabadoo

Thursday, 10 April 2008

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This is Karen Matthews' favourite meal

Police say they have proof that shows Shannon Matthews is not the biological daughter of Karen Matthews.

In the course of their interviews with 9 year old Shannon, the police say she has managed to form coherent sentences containing words with more than one syllable. She has also been able to write her own name and can tell the difference between left and right.

A police officer said: "Without even having a DNA test, we're certain this proves Shannon can't possibly be the daughter of Karen Matthews. She must have been adopted. We can't carry out a DNA test anyway. The Jeremy Kyle Show has booked up all the available DNA testing slots until May 2012."

Karen Matthews is currently being held in custody. Her partner, Craig Meehan, was nicked last week by the rozzers for possessing kiddie fiddler material on his computer.

Police are still coming to terms with the shock that Meehan was able to switch on a computer in the first place.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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