Police have been left in a state of dildo confusion after arresting Birmingham City Football Club co-owner David Sullivan and the club's minging director Karen Brady.
The pair have been questioned by City of London Police on suspicion of conspiracy to defraud and false accounting.
Sullivan, who has amassed a fortune worth a reported six hundred million pounds, mainly from the largest chain of sex shops in the UK, is alleged to have brandished a dildo at officers who turned up to question him.
Sixteen dildo's were removed from his pockets before entering the police station.
Fearing similar behavior from Brady, who had apparently 'just got out of bed' and turned up for questioning in 'a foul mood' cops decided to body check the managing director for similar weaponary.
Although only two love eggs and a banana were found inside her jacket pocket, shocked cops managed to slide from her grizzly poontang what appeared to be a similar dildo to the one Mr. Sullivan had earlier brandished.
"You don't wanna be hit on the head with one of those things" said PC Richards, "I've seen a grown man knocked off his feet from the swing of a dildo".
To the cops surprise, the dildo began talking.
"We were shocked. You see alot in this job, but being spoken to by a slimy dildo was a first".
Taped to a chair in the questioning room, the dildo introduced himself as Derby County striker Paul Peschidildo, the husband of Karen Brady.
Investigations into the business dealings of Brady and Sullivan continue. The dildo was released without charge.
