An Imperial Presidency?
Washington, D.C. - Under a Freedom of Information Act request, the advocacy group "Why Must We Be Governed By Idiots?" received the following 2007 memo relating to appropriate behavior in the presence of President Bush, and immediately released the document to the press.Read full story
No New Tornados
(Boston Globe) - In an effort to lower gas prices over the summer John McCain has called for a suspension of federal gas taxes from Memorial Day to Labor Day, a simpler tax code, and "…no new Tornado's".Read full story
Radder's Given Official Warning From The Club Poof
Yesterday Millionaire Daniel Jacob Radcliffe (who by the way is 1st in the under 30s British rich list) was given an official warning from Shark Powton the owner of the 'Poof' club, that Radcliffe belongs to.Read full story
Global Warming Blamed On The Hot Manure Coming Out Of Al Gore's Mouth.
Scientists have today reached a zenith point in their investigations into the causes of climate change. After years of study, they've found one source of greenhouse gasses that is greater than all the man made and natural sources put together, th...Read full story
President of Iran is secret part-time bingo caller
The President of Iran, Iva Gotta Nodinnajacket, has confessed, in a no-holds-barred interview, that when he's not threatening Israel or learning to read, he has a penchant for calling out bingo numbers at his local bingo hall.Read full story
"Taken for a Ride" is top games console 'game'
Forget about Grand Theft Auto, Call of Duty, Halo and Space Invaders. A game that has been around for several years - "Taken for a Ride" - has now officially become the most popular PlayStation, X-Box and Nintendo game on sale at retailers everywher...Read full story
"Vanessa and I are so over"
Zac and Vanessa's relationship has been on the rocks for a while, but three days ago it rocked totally off.Read full story
Vanessa Hudgens seen buying Pregnancy Test
Vanessa Hudgens was seen buying the pregnancy test yesterday.Read full story
Wilson brothers reveal they are one person
Hollywood, CA, the highly popular Wilson brothers (Owen and Luke) today revealed that they have been lying to everyone from fans to studio execs about "their" identity. They are not in fact brothers but just one lonely man with a multiple p...Read full story
White Guy With No Rhythm Injures 12 In Nightclub
A white man with no rhythm has injured 12 bystanders while doing some crazy dancing in a nightclub.Read full story
Homeless woman endorses John McCain
Mary Belle Hartmann, a 62-year-old homeless woman, declared today that she fully endorses senator John McCain to be the next president of...Read full story
Bank of America, Wells Fargo, CitiBank, and other national and local banks have reported that the new Stimulus Checks from the US Government are being returned for lack of funds.Read full story
Chile and Ecuador plan bilateral shagfest
Santiago, Chile - (Rabis Ass Mess): The UN's cultural and developmental division is said to be gobsmacked following news from Chile and Ecuador about massive government investment into citizens' sombre sex lives.Read full story
Emma Watson To Stand Against Radders As Prime Minister
Emma Watson has announced that she too plans to run for PM at the next general election, after Daniel Radcliffe revealed his intentions to do the same.Read full story
Court: Coach Can't bow, kneel with team
A New Jersey school board was within its rights to tell a football coach he cannot kneel and bow his head as his players have a student-led pregame prayer, a federal appeals court ruled yesterday. It was agreed that the East Brunswick Board of Educat...Read full story
50,000 police cells going begging for massive May Day bust
London - (Rioters): Up to 50,000 empty, brand new police cells are said to be 'going begging' ahead of a huge May Day coup d'etat that will see the feckless republican dictatorship of Prime Monster Gorgon Brown shackled behind bars, accor...Read full story
The ultimate ECO-warriors
California - (Hydrocarbons Mess): A reclusive Southern California bigoil pair have been dubbed the ultimate ECO- warriors after Off-the-Wall-Street sources revealed the couple's crude holdings.Read full story
Shame of the Australian politician who sniffed colleague's seat
Sydney, Australia - (Lurid Ass mess): One of Australia's top politicians said today he was in bits after getting caught sniffing a colleague's seat.Read full story
P & O Ferries to sue Chris De Burgh
P & O Ferries are to sue Chris De Burgh having determined that a recent downturn in their business has been as a direct result of the resurgence in airplay of his 1982 hit "Don't pay the ferryman".Read full story
Security service arrests Bush's crop-dusting coke dealer
Texas - (AssoCIAted Mess): George W Bush's crop-dusting coke dealer flew into trouble today after security service guards pounced near the presidential Predator Chapel Ranch home in Wacko, Texas.Read full story
London Abasement Company built Mosley's orgy cellar and Austrian incest nutter's dungeon
London - (Excavation Mess): Specialist UK fascist builder The London Abasement Company has been identified as project manager behind the subterranean erection of both Max Mosley's London Nazi S&M orgy cellar as well as Austrian nutter Jo...Read full story
New Cafe for cravings opens
Julie Wilkes from Hull has just opened the first of what she hopes will soon be a nationwide chain of fast food shops that cater for the cravings of expectant mothers. The name to look out for will be 'Café Neuf'Read full story
Barack Obama - Questions and Answers with Presidential Candidates
Every week, we will interview presidential candidates and offer insight into their campaign and their beliefs.Read full story
Fox Announces Fall Lineup
Fox Network today has announced its new lineup for the 2008-09 season. Gone will be popular shows like "House" and "Bones" and in are new shows like "When Garanimals Attack!"...Read full story
Heather Mills Auctions Beatle Sperm on Ebay
(London, England) Heather Mills is still not satisfied with anything in life and is more than happy to let everyone know. Her latest scheme is sure to make her a billionaire, maybe even richer than Paul. She is auctioning Paul's sperm on Ebay.Read full story
Ron Paul Stumps for St. Pauli Girl
Crown Imports LLC reported in a press release today that it has signed an agreement with Republican Ron Paul. Paul will become the company spokesman for its St. Pauli Girl line of beers.Read full story
Ronnie O'Sullivan's 147 break has been heralded as the most boring piece of sporting perfection since Red Rum's third win at Aintree's Grand National.Read full story
ACLU Claims Another Victory in Suspect's Civil Rights
Newark, NJ - A state appeals court yesterday threw out a Camden County man's drug convition because police did not wait long enough after knocking before forcing their way into his apartment for a...Read full story
Austrian Bunker Man Was Trying To Recreate 'The Sound Of Music'
Josef Fritzl, the man who kept his daughter locked in a cellar for 24 years, and had seven children with her, was a big fan of The Sound Of Music, and may have been trying to recreate it in his home, police...Read full story
Austrian Bunker Kids Can't Wait To 'Get Cracking'
The Austrian children at the centre of the Bunker Scandal have said in a statement, that they can't wait to be unleashed into the outside world, and to discover all the wonderful things it has to offer.Read full story
'Iron Man' Premiere Draws Major Stars, Miley Cyrus to Star in Sequel 'Iron Woman Bangs Iron Man'
NEW YORK (FMLiveWire) -- Marvel Studios' latest superhero blast Iron Man brought a bunch of superstar actors and other notables to its New York premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival on Monday night as a sequel was revealed to be in the works.Read full story
Bush Library Kept Under Wraps
The George W. Bush Presidential Library is currently under construction at an undisclosed location, the National Archives and Records Administration announced today. When the facility opens, its location will remain permanently secret and no visitat...Read full story
"That Austrian Freak is Ruining the Reputation of our Dungeons"
NEW YORK, NY - Nerds and S & M enthusiasts gathered in New York to collectively protest the monstrous actions of a depraved Austrian man, and at the same time hopefully salvage the once good reputation of their beloved dungeons.Read full story
Biblical Archaeologists Find Fig Leaf!
Though there is no proof of primogeniture, and all searches for a so-called Garden of Eden have turned up nothing, biblical archaeologists from the Church of JC of the Golden Shovel claim to have discovered a matching pair of fig leaves right in the...Read full story
Non-HDTV Sets' Boob Tubes Might Explode Soon!
HDTV manufacturers are warning conventional TV owners that sooner or later their boob tube may explode.Read full story
Hezbolla-Poppin Set to Open On Broadway
The Lebanese Shia Extremist movement Hezbolla announced today it is completing its transition from militia into entertainment with the zany Broadway musical Hezbolla-Poppin.Read full story
Denim Shortage Hitting Canadian Tuxedo Industry Hard
MONTREAL, PQ - A severe drought which limited cotton production in the southern United States last fall is having a dramatic effect on the Canadian tuxedo industry.Read full story