Bible-banger Bush, USA CEO for almost eight long, long years has decided to transfer power to an heir apparent.
Most Wall Street watchers has the Dauphin Johnny McC chosen as the new Bush. But in a surprise move, deeply imbued with Bushist biblical imagery, worst president ever of Corporation Corpse America bestowed the CEO crown upon General Petraeus: "Thou art Petraeus", reverent onlookers reported Bush's words, "And upon this General, I will build my church-corporation!"
Observers say that they saw a shadowy, really old figure run off in anguish after the surprise announcement. The wizened decrepit creature was said to scream something about all the asses he has had to kiss to stop being true to his straight talk self and become Bushit II and now this!
The first six star general walked regally to the podium after his coronation. His acceptance speech resembled the CEO report from ant failing company: "True, we have lost 4,000+ shares but our competitors in Iraq have been bled to the tune of hundreds of thousands. And i promise you that Corporation Corpse America will rebound in an upcoming quarter to regain its once great stature. But, dear investors, be prepared for thousands of more lost shares of CCA. These martyr shares will not be forgotten. They will shine like stars in the sky on the day, a century from now, when Iraq will be a true Corporation Corpse America subsidiary!"
