Jack Reed and Russ Feingold Caught Kissing in Bathroom
Liberal Senators Jack Reed (D-RI), and Russ Feingold (D-WI), were caught kissing in a ladies bathroom. They were found kissing in an empty toilet stall by Senator Elizabeth Dole (R-NC). She tattled to her party leader, Mitch McConnell (R-KY), and he...
Read full storySpoilt Ballot Paper Party (SBP) Sweeps Elections
With victory resounding across Great Britain today the Spoilt Ballot Paper Party ( SBP)claimed that the winds of change are sweeping over Britain. " This is a victory for the disconsolate, the undecided and the medically insane!" crowed SB...
Read full storyNixon and Mao
After President Nixon's trip to China, Mao Zedong, the Chairman of the Chinese Communist Party, was rioting against Nixon.
Read full storyGeorge Bush: Best US President?
At a President Ranking announcement, a committee of liberal historians ranked George W. Bush the best president in the United States.
Read full story"Only Fools & Horses" or Al Gore's "An Incontinent Truth": judicial review to decide
London - (Ass Mess): The Department for Education has come under heavy criticism after coughing up £25m million for hundreds of thousands of remaindered DVDs of Al Gore's seminal film memoir of eco disaster in the post-Queen Mother era entitled &...
Read full storyHadrian's wall to be rebuilt after historic SNP victory
Prime Minister, Tony Blair has announced that, in the wake of dramatic success for the Scottish National party in local elections, Scotland will become physically as well as politically independent from England. This will be achieved by "every B...
Read full storyNew Custom Telephone Messaging Service From Alec Baldwin
Are you a parent afraid of lashing out at your child? Kids can be so sensitive these days! Calling your eleven year old daughter a little pig can get you in a world of trouble. Not only will your child be upset, but the authorities will have a field day at your expense. Don't be victimized!...
Read full storyHoff's home video shame
Former Baywatch star and lederhosen king, David Hasselhoff, has been caught on camera by his 16-year-old daughter in shocking scenes of power-drunk, talentless mugging.
Read full storyCorrupt Bastards Club: secret letter to OPEC discovered
London - (Ass Mess): The Spoof has obtained an exclusive preview of a top secret letter sent to the awesome PR machine that runs global big oil where the shockwaves from the Corrupt Bastards Club and this week's resignation of BP's Lord Brown...
Read full storyBush Administration Defends Detention of Children at Gitmo
Washington, D.C. - Secretary of Defense Robert Gates defended the administration's imprisonment of an undisclosed number of children at the U.S. Navy base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
Read full storyThe Reincarnation of Saddam Hussein
Just when it appeared that former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein had been forever relegated to the dustbin of history, reports coming out of Minnesota suggest that the infamous 'Butcher of Baghdad' is back, albeit in a different sort of way.
Read full storyTwo Billionaires from Manchester Quizzed in Car Crash
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Macedonia - TWO billionaire businessmen from Greater Manchester are being quizzed by police after their Porsche was involved in an accident during the famous Gumball 3000 rally.
Read full storyTiger Woods Tricked by Prankster Nicklaus
Des Moines, Iowa-- May 4, 2007 - At the 7th Annual Freedom Financial Classic Golf Tournament yesterday in Des Moines, Iowa, Tiger Woods fell victim to event organizer and senior tour prankster Jack Nicklaus's latest gag. As Tiger addressed his t...
Read full storyRamirez Sues
Carlos Ramirez Gonzalez Mendez C.E.O. of Mexican Firm -- Wet Back Fix a Flat -- is reportedly suing C.N.N.'s Lou Dobbs following the May day Illegal Immigrant raucous in California.
Read full storyRepublicans debate who's most conservative
The recent MSNBC Republican debate among presidential hopefuls lacked any fireworks among the leading contenders, but it allowed those farther back in the pack an opportunity to set themselves apart.
Read full storyComputers mess up voting...again
Today the new and innovative 'vote online' concept for the Scottish Election has had politicians in a worry.
Read full storyUN Weapons Inspectors refused admission to Presidential Palaces
New York - The United Nations Security Council erupted in outrage today when it was revealed that United Nations weapons inspectors were refused admission to the Presidential Palaces of a member state.
Read full storyBritain Reclaims Virginia
Virginia - Red Coats were today consolidating their positions across the state of Virginia after Queen Elizabeth II reclaimed the colony for the British Empire.
Read full story10 Reasons why Legend was better than Lord of the Rings
I know that several of you may not have agreed with my previous article regarding the superiority of the 1980s hit Willow to the 2000s hit Lord of the Rings. Despite my proof, I feel it necessary to continue my quest to prove that Lord of the Rings is just a knock off. So, without further delay, here are ten reasons why the 1985 classic "Legend" is better than "Lord of the Rings.&qu...
Read full storyKen Livingstone was Skeletor in previous life
London - Today London Mayor woke up bored journalists at his hourly press conference by revealing that in a previous life he was employed as Skeletor in the masters of the Universe fighting on behalf of all that is bad and working against the treache...
Read full storyLeeds United Administrators Called In
Former Premiership football club Leeds United have called in the administrators. The club, recently relegated yet again, will be punished severely according to Football League rules, and will start next season in League One with
Read full storyLiving is harmful to your health
Geneva. World Health Opposition scientists today revealed that staying alive was actually detrimental to your health. Statistics costing gazillions of euros of public money revealed that people who are alive are much more likely to die or become sick...
Read full storySpilt Beaver magazine nominates Celine Dion, Shania Twain for worst Canadian prize
Quebec - (Ass Mess): Split Beaver magazine, the official organ of Canada's National Hystery Society, has nominated singers Celine Dion and Shania Twain for the top prize in its Worst Photographed Canadians contest.
Read full storyGame of Rock Paper Scissors to decide middle East question
Bethlehem: After millennia arguing about the dubious contracts laid down by the lord promising the West Bank to two religions, it has finally been decided that leaders of the international Arab community and Israel will meet at midnight on December 3...
Read full storyPresident Bush Takes Action
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, in an effort to reduce Social Security payments and stop frivolous lawsuits, President George W. Bush urged Congress to outlaw anything that might cause cancer.
Read full storyWar stuck in Baghdad road
Baghdad, Thursday. Residents of this ancient city awoke a few mornings ago to discover that someone had been by during the night and parked a war in front of their houses.
Read full storyFBI Finds Bush is a Corrupt Bastard
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Alaska - The FBI searched the offices of four legislators associated with the Corrupt Bastards Club: Stevens, Rep. Pete Kott, R-Eagle River; Sen. John Cowdery, R-Anchorage; and Rep. Vic Kohring, R-Wasilla. They also searched w...
Read full storyNerd increase over last 10 years
New research has shown an increase in the world-wide nerd population. According to the research their number has doubled since 1997. The cause? Scientists are blaming new educational policies.
Read full storyObama Wins!
Telephone polls (taken after waking up the target audience) by Fox (Fair and Balanced R Us!) News show that as a result of the 1st Annual Regan Love Fest, Republican Debate, and Dinner on the Ground last night that just by NOT being there Barack Obam...
Read full storyTop Ten Reasons The Spoof Doesn't Pay Writers
10. The Spoof doesn't want outside influence from advertisers.
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth II Arrives in Jamestown, VA
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Jamestown, VA - Queen Elizabeth II arrived in Jamestown, VA today to recognize the 400th anniversary of England's first permanent English settlement. It is the kickoff for "America's Anniversary Weekend" extr...
Read full storyMcCaskill Shouts in Session: Where's the beef?
Washington DC - In perhaps one of the more embarrassing moments of the Senate, Senator Claire McCaskill (D-MO) shouts out of turn, startling the usually low key sessions. During a debate regarding Senate Bill 4905.89, McCaskill shouted loud enough to...
Read full storyBlair: Rovian ambassador to Africa or Wolfowitz's World Bank post?
London - (Ass Mess): If the cops don't nab him on cash-for-honors treason charges when the Queen gets back from the USA next week Tony Blair is all set to resign and move to the White House where a new consultancy awaits for him spreading democra...
Read full storyWelsh Nationalists sweep to victory in Scotland
Edinburgh - (Rioters): Plaid Cymru has swept to victory in key Scottish marginal seats prompting fears that the Highlands will soon be inundated with millions of sheep-shagging illiterates hell-bent on restoring the Owen Glendower bloodlines to the S...
Read full storyBritney's Show A Gummy Affair
Britney Spears continued her alleged comeback at the House of Blues in San Diego, where fans lined up for two hours, and paid $125 for a 12 minute 'show' where Brit pretended to sing.
Read full story"Handy Manny" proves a hit on Disney's hardcore channel
Middletown, New Jersey - (Ass Mess): Disney's new hardcore porn channel has proved popular in the New Jersey area this week.
Read full storyHe Has Risen: Pillsbury Doughboy, The New Messiah
Minneapolis (Bakers Daily News)-Spread the good news! Spread the butter! Spread the margarine! He gave his life to save the world of its breakfast sins! And today he is risen, to sit at the right hand of the eggs and morning...
Read full storyKate Moss Adulation Abounds
After the chaos in Oxford Street earlier this week when Kate Moss revealed her new clothing range in Top Shop, there was more blind panic in the same street today when she ducked into McDonalds to us...
Read full storyBush, Blair share Nobel Prize
Geneva, May 5 - In a surprise development earlier today, the New Orleans Body of Electronic Lies (NOBEL) announced that the US President George 'Junior' Bush and British Prime Minister Tony 'Sub-junior' Blair are the joint winners of...
Read full storySpiderman 3 Let Down
People who came out of Cinema 5 in Hitler Memorial Mall America Kansas City were angry, sad and dissapointed at the highly overrated Spiderman 3.
Read full storyNSA Intercept Reveals 9/11 Was Work of Hillary Clinton
The transmission below was intercepted by the NSA shortly before the release of Ann Coulter's 2003 book, "Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism."...
Read full storyDoor to door ass checking scam! A bum deal?
Details of a new door to door scam have been revealed, showing just how easy it is for people to be duped on their very own doorsteps.
Read full storyElection Results: Politics Still Boring
Record levels of voters turned out yesterday, as seats in the Scottish Parliament, the Welsh Assembly and most local authorities outside London were being hotly contested in what had been dubbed
Read full storyManchester United Boss Isn't Bothered By Champions League Defeat
Alice Ferguson, the Manchester United manager, uncharacteristically lost his temper yesterday when responding to questions about his team's Champions League exit at the hands of AC Milan at the S...
Read full storyDe la Hoya and Spears knock 'em out at L.A. House of Blues
Britney Spears continued her "California Comeback Tour" with another lip sync live performance at the Los Angeles House of Blues last night. Making a surprise appearance with Spears and her four dancers was Oscar De la Hoya, current WBC box...
Read full storyDucks' Dicks Surprise Scientists - Ducks Report Sex Abuse!
The NY Times reports the following: "This guy's the champion," said Patricia Brennan, a behavioral ecologist, leaning over the nether regions of a duck - a Meller's duck from Madagascar, to be specific - and carefully coaxing out hi...
Read full storyEat Less Live Longer! Anorexics Celebrate!
Nutritionists and genetics researcher are announcing a connection between a longevity gene and a starvation diet. Dr Poindexter Poinsinister explains that the livelonger gene is fired up in roundworms who live on a barebones diet.
Read full storyFive Scots and a Welshman Vote!
In what was thought to be a reliable referendum on the Blair decade, when 30 million voters were eligible to pass a long awaited verdict on the "Blahcade", poll watchers revealed that only five Scots and one Welshman had voted.
Read full storyRice and Beanz Talk Iraq at Borders!
When secretaries of state usually meet it is in national capitols at conference tables as long as W list of misadventures, mistakes and missed opportunities. But in Bushplomacy open communication with any nation that cares more about its national int...
Read full storyStubborn as a Mule Syndrome Strikes Bushites
Medical researchers and political pollsters have fallen into a convergence of astronomical proportions. SAAMS, normally limited to neuter mule populations has been found in large groups of humans in the US Red states. The highly infectious disease ca...
Read full storyBush to 'America Idol' Viewers: Thanks! Now can you help me find a canadidate for my new War Czar cabinet position?
Washington, DC - Impressed with the efforts of American Idol's fund raising power, over 70 million dollars, on last weeks 'Idol Gives Back' special benefiting charities for improvised children, Bush and the First Lady, in a taped appearan...
Read full storyWall Street on Edge as Value of Cure Plummets
New York - Remember the good ole days when an ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure? Well, it is looking more and more like those times may be gone forever, as the value of cure fell to an all time low. At the close of trading on Wednesday,...
Read full storyCheney Aims to Become Postmaster General
Washington, D.C. - Though he has made it clear he has no intention to seek the Republican nomination for the White House in 2008, Vice President Cheney announced today that there is one job that he would accept without hesitation: Postmaster General...
Read full storyBush Announces Plan to Outsource National Defense to India
Dehli, India - President Bush announced Thursday that he had reached an agreement with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to turn responsibility for the national defense of the United States over to India.
Read full storyCEO of Avaian Accounting Inc. Accused of Counting Chickens Before They Hatch
Houston - Only 5 ½ years since the collapse of Enron, and with Jeff Skilling still settling in to life in a federal prison, the largest city in Texas has been rocked by another financial scandal.
Read full storyTony La Russa to leave Cardinals to join Sopranos' Cast
Tony La Russa, veteran manager of the St. Louis Cardinals, announced just hours ago that he will be leaving St. Louis to join the cast of the award winning, HBO, Sopranos TV series. La Russa will appear in the final four encore episodes of the Sopra...
Read full storyCourtney Love holds unltimate Garage Band sale
Seattle, Washington - Courtney Love, widow of the late rock legend, Kurt Cobain, is now selling his stuff to a private collector, after changing her mind about auctioning it off for charity. Cobain and his Seattle based band, Nirvana, single-handedly...
Read full storyRove and Cheney Say Mother Nature Just Going Through 'The Change'
Karl Rove and Dick Cheney have teamed up against Sheryl Crow and Laurie David to attack their heated position on global warming.
Read full storySudanese man heartbroken after pet goat wife dies
Juba, Sudan - (Ass Mess): Charles Tombe, a Juba man who likes a wee little drop of the hard stuff from time to time, is heartbroken after his pet goat wife Rose died of unnatural causes this week leaving him widowed and holding her little six month o...
Read full story