President Bush Takes Action

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Friday, 4 May 2007


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for President Bush Takes Action
President Bush's New Look

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington, D.C. - Today, in an effort to reduce Social Security payments and stop frivolous lawsuits, President George W. Bush urged Congress to outlaw anything that might cause cancer.

"We did pretty good on stopping smoking, but now we've got to outlaw breathing and eating. Breathing harmful stuff can cause cancer," said Bush. "Eatin' all kinds of stuff causes cancer, so the best way to deal with it is to outlaw breathin' and eatin'. That should put a end to frivu... frivo... frevul... unwanted lawsuits."

Republicans rallied to the president's side in support of the new laws, while Democrats spoke out against the president's suggestions. "A lot of people like to eat and breathe and I doubt that our constituents would support such a bill," said Hillary Clinton.

"As you know, my position is clear -- I'm the commander guy," said President Bush. "Either we'll succeed, or we won't succeed. And so, what Sen. Clinton is saying, some early signs, still dangerous, but give me -- give my chance a plan to work."

Sen. Obama commented, "Your plan in Iraq hasn't succeeded so far. Why should we believe this plan will work?"

"My job is a job to make decisions. I'm a decision -- if the job description were, what do you do -- it's decision maker," replied the president.

George Bush then took Air Force One to London to visit his lover Tony Blair. "It's been two weeks since we've had gay sex and I want to get it on before the wedding," said Bush as he departed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more