With victory resounding across Great Britain today the Spoilt Ballot Paper Party ( SBP)claimed that the winds of change are sweeping over Britain. " This is a victory for the disconsolate, the undecided and the medically insane!" crowed SBP Party leader David Blunkett.
"We won more seats than the SNP, the BNP and the Jedi's across the board." he added while hailing "Porky" his golden labrador guide dog as the instrument of his success. "Porky shops for me, decorates my house every weekend and places my X in the box at every election. I can always count on Porky to spoil my ballot paper."
In the past, Blunkett has advocated the use of pets, marker pens, faeces and staplers in the "war against tidy voting."
Today, while spilling champagne down his shirt he said, "I asked the malcontented and the cack-handed of Great Britain to smear their vote and the people of Great Britain did me proud. The main parties had better look further than neat handwriting campaigns and empty biros in the General Election."
When asked if Porky will also be taking on the role of David Blunkett's personal secretary in the wake of his Local Election victory, David replied, "Don't be so f**king stupid, it's a bloody dog."