Medical researchers and political pollsters have fallen into a convergence of astronomical proportions. SAAMS, normally limited to neuter mule populations has been found in large groups of humans in the US Red states. The highly infectious disease causes its victims to ignore reality, stubbornly refuse to move forward and emit an annoying braying sound like the voices on Right-wing talk radio.
The political coincidence found by political pollsters that oddly correlates with SAAMS findings is that 58% of 2004 Bush voters still approve of the President's job performance. These poor disease victims managed to ignore a mountain of dead US soldiers and a veritable city of the damned filled with Iraqi casualties. They seem stuck in reverse on every important issue facing America's future and their inarticulate and ridiculous defenses sound like a cross between Francis and Rush the talking mules.
Ann Coulter has announced that she will host a fundraiser for SAAMS victims. For $1,000 dollars, entrants can gamble on her sexual orientation and the true color of her pet beaver. . . or if she even has one.