Edinburgh - (Rioters): Plaid Cymru has swept to victory in key Scottish marginal seats prompting fears that the Highlands will soon be inundated with millions of sheep-shagging illiterates hell-bent on restoring the Owen Glendower bloodlines to the Scottish throne.
And in Wales itself the local elections have seen an overwhelming 25% swing to the British National Party as relatives of former Blackshirt leader Oswald Mosley succeeded in pumping the campaign with hundreds of millions of pounds missing from the Treasury in a giant scam connected to the UN Oil-for-Fraud fiasco in Iraq.
Elsewhere Labour has had a dismal night ahead of news that the cash-for-honors cops are about to indict the entire party as mercenaries hired by Thatcher grandees of the UK Hellfire Club, doing the dirty work to restore the Bush's version of a Merovignian lineage throughout the world.
In Drowning Street UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has remained defiant in the face of massive losses which his spin doctors have put down to a seasonal glitch linked to temporary voter psychosis caused by polluted water supplies.
The full results are expected to be announced shortly.