Virginia - Red Coats were today consolidating their positions across the state of Virginia after Queen Elizabeth II reclaimed the colony for the British Empire.
Empress Elizabeth II and Mighty War Lord, Phillip led army's of well wishers today in the Virginia State Legislature, Representatives were shocked when it was revealed that the well wishers were heavily armed with flowers, cuddly toys and Tommy Guns, thereby forcing representatives to accede from the union and swear an oath of loyalty to the Queen.
The Queen now leads an ever strengthening army to the Kentucky Derby for a bit of a piss up celebration, some dancing and some white trash bashin' before heading onto Washington. Terrified President Bush today revealed to local journalists that he knew of oncoming danger when a parcel laden with pretzels arrived last Monday by carrier pigeon.
