Reports from the heart of Russia indicate that President Putin is fuming with rage as yet another of his cherished divisions crumbles under the relentless assault of an American Artillery Division at Izyum, Ukraine.
The latest headlines from Boom Boom News (Ukraine) paint a grim picture of the defeat suffered by Russia's once formidable 41st Moscow Super Infantry Regiment, mercilessly pummeled by the unstoppable force known as "The Ass-Kickers" - the renowned 7th Cavalry US Armored Division.
General Guy Skippalino, the fearless commander of the 7th Cav, takes pride in his armored division's triumph, as they turned the Russian troops into a delectable Moscovian beef stew, leaving no doubt about their dominance on the battlefield.
In an unsurprising twist, The Kremlin Voice reports that Putin, seething with disgust, anger, and embarrassment, plans to subject the commander of the ill-fated 41st to a trial for dereliction of duty. The verdict? Guilty. The punishment? Exile to the unforgiving lands of Siberia, where cold and isolation await.
As tensions rise and egos clash, the world watches with bated breath, wondering what lies ahead in this high-stakes battle of wits and military might. What next humiliation will Putin face on the global stage?