
Harry Maguire Under Investigation After Making Phone Call To Jamie Vardy
Manchester United and England centre-half, Harry Maguire, is in hot water this evening, after he was discovered making a telephone call to his former teammate at Leicester City, Jamie Vardy. Maguire and Vardy were best friends at Filbert Street, w...
Read full story
Harry Maguire Wins National Lottery
In a story almost too unbelievable to be believed, the Manchester United and England centre-half, Harry Maguire's namesake, Mr. H Maguire of Manchester, has won the National Lottery jackpot this weekend. Mr. Maguire, whose first name - coincidenta...
Read full story
H&M To Consider Namechange After Confusion With Famous Footballer
The fashion clothing retailer, H&M, are said to be considering a namechange for their brand, after it was revealed that many of their customers are under the impression that the company is run by the Manchester United and England central defender...
Read full story
Harry Maguire In Tears After Insults From Leicester City Fans
He may be a rock at the heart of the Manchester United defensive unit, but centre-half, Harry Maguire, is also human, and the player has, today, touchingly told of how he wept openly after fans of his former club, Leicester City, hurled insults at hi...
Read full story
Harry Maguire performs famous Dragonball move during training, injuring three teammates
Yesterday during a training session at Old Trafford, star Man Utd defender performed the famous 'Kamehameha' in a mock attempt to stop Daniel James' shot. Unbeknownst to tbe defender, a real beam of light actually shot out and hit three other play...
Read full story
Harry Maguire To Lead 'Storm Area 51' Charge
As the tension in Nevada increases in the build-up to this coming weekend's extraterrestrial events at Area 51, the Manchester United and England centre-half, Harry Maguire, has thrown his hat into the ring, and says that he, himself, will travel to...
Read full story
Manchester United Boss Sir Alex Ferguson Calls For Penalties To Be Re-taken
Harry Maguire Signing Was "The Last Straw", Says Alexis Sanchez
Harry Maguire To Bat At Number 11, If Needed
Peter Schmeichel Says Harry Maguire Is The Best Keeper In The World Right Now
Harry Maguire Says England Are Going To Kick The Shit Out Of Kosovo
Harry Maguire England Captain For Bulgaria Game
Paul Pogba Misses Another Penalty
Harry Maguire To Meet President Donald Trump
Manuel Neuer joins Bayern attacking line
Jurgen Klopp Set For Liverpool Exit?
Harry Maguire To Participate In General Election
Harry Maguire Now More Popular Than Harry Potter, Google Search Reveals

Harry Maguire Commemorative Stamp To Be Issued By Royal Mail
Royal Mail have announced that, due to the extraordinary public interest in the Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, they are to issue a special commemorative stamp featuring the player, with a postage rate value of 80p.
Read full story
Harry Maguire Female Fans Plan To Sling Their Knickers Onto Old Trafford Pitch
Manchester United's Harry Maguire has caused a panic after announcing that he would play Saturday's match against his former club, Leicester City, at Old Trafford, wearing with no underpants. His words prompted members of his female fanclub to res...
Read full story
Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband
Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, signed by Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, is to be given the Old Trafford captain's armband as a gesture of just how valuable an asset the cl...
Read full story
Harry Maguire Has A Day Off
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender who cost the club £80million in a summer transfer from Leicester City, has been taking it easy at home, having a day off before facing his former Foxes teammates at Old Trafford in the Premier Lea...
Read full story
Harry Maguire To Take All Manchester United Penalties From Now On
Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer revealed last night that, after Marcus Rashford's penalty blunder against Crystal Palace yesterday, and Paul Pogba's earlier miss against Wolves, that £80million newboy Harry Maguire will take all the Reds...
Read full story
Harry Maguire Speaks Out About 9/11
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, has spoken out on what he says was one of the most memorable days of his life - September 11, 2001, the day of the World Trade Center terrorist attacks. Sheffield-born Maguire, now 26, was onl...
Read full story
Breaking news…
Interested in writing your own spoof news stories like these?
Yes, tell me more!Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

Harry Maguire To 'Go Commando' Against Leicester On Saturday
Manchester United's £80million pin-up boy defender, Harry Maguire, is ready to set the Premier League alight, after vowing last night that he will 'go commando' for Saturday's match against his former club, Leicester City at Old Trafford. Women ev...
Read full story
Harry Maguire To Appear In Final Star Wars Movie
The light-speed emergence into the world of entertainment of Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire, has not gone unnoticed in Hollywood, and earlier today, it was revealed by Lucasfilm and Bad Robot Productions that the footballer is to m...
Read full story
Harry Maguire To Have Beans On Toast For Tea On Wednesday Night
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender that people just can't stop talking about, is scheduled to have beans on toast for his tea on Wednesday evening, if the word of his girlfriend, Fern Hawkins, is anything to go by. Maguire, 26,...
Read full story
Harry Maguire Implicated In Huge Betting Scandal
Police are looking into a huge betting scandal in the wake of the England football team's 5-3 victory over Kosovo in Southampton last night, with central defender Harry Maguire being the focus of their investigation. Maguire, it was, who dithered...
Read full story
Sadio Mané Can't Stand Mo Salah Anymore
There's trouble brewing in the Anfield dressing room tonight, after Liverpool's Sadio Mané told striking partner, Mo Salah, that he is so angry with the Egyptian, that he no longer regards him as a friend, and doesn't want to talk to him anymore.
Read full story
Jacob H. Maguire To Change His Name
"Invasion of privacy, would be an understatement," said J.H. Maguire, following a battery of reports concerning his personal development and state of mind. "I'm a laughing stock. There comes a stage when ennui sets in...like now..." The Manchester...
Read full story
Harry Maguire's Champions League Round-up
Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire drops in to help out with the details of the Champions League matches on a busy night in Europe. It was a busy night of European football last night, with many of the top teams involved...
Read full storyFunny Football (Soccer) Headlines
-
Harry Maguire To Star As The Next James Bond
-
Harry Maguire To Push Some Buttons On The Hadron Collider
-
Harry Maguire To Arm Wrestle Noel Edmonds In Battle To Host 'Deal Or No Deal' Comeback
-
Harry Maguire Bookmakers' Favourite To Be UK Charts Christmas Number 1
-
Harry Maguire Given Go-ahead To Stay In Bed Late On Monday Morning
-
Harry Maguire Says He Didn't Sign Last Season Because Jose Mourinho Was Manager
-
Is Gareth Bale On His Way To Hull City?
-
Bury Burial Is On Friday
-
Harry Maguire Speaks Out On Amazon Rainforest Fires
-
Harry Maguire Anonymous In Manchester United's Draw With Southampton
-
Rooney Breaks Football's Unwritten Rule
-
Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United
-
Harry Maguire Inspiration Behind Re-release Of Sham 69 Single 'Hurry Up, Harry'
-
Harry Maguire Involved In Strange Incident Before Match On Sunday
-
Harry Maguire Upset At Way Social Media Tossers Keep Spelling His Name Wrong
-
Harry Maguire Taking Up Too Much Column Space
-
Would Slim Everdingle Like Manchester United To Trade Him To Real Madrid?
-
Ice Cream Van Played 'Match Of The Day' Theme
-
Harry Maguire To Save Bolton And Bury
-
Mick's Swiss Miss