Funny story: Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband

Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband

Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, signed by Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, is to be given the Old Trafford captain's armband as a gesture of just how valuable an asset the cl...

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Funny story: Manchester United Manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Head Is Getting Smaller

Manchester United Manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Head Is Getting Smaller

Rumours are rife around Old Trafford this morning, as speculation rises that Manchester United coach Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's head is getting smaller. Solskjaer was photographed alongside new signing, £80million former Sheffield United, Hull City an...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United

Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United

Having previously told news reporters he would never sign for Premier League football giants Manchester United because he hated them, Harry Maguire has now had 'second thoughts', and signed for the Reds on Monday, for a ridiculous £97million. Magu...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots

Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots

Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, says he might buy some new football boots, as a special treat to himself for becoming the most...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th

Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th

New Manchester United defender, Harry Maguire, who signed for the Reds from Leicester City for £80million on Monday, has signed a second legal document, an affidavit with the club's solicitors affirming that, when his new club meet his old club at Ol...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Meet President Donald Trump

Harry Maguire To Meet President Donald Trump

White House sources say that President Donald Trump is to hold conference talks with new Manchester United signing, fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy, and 'brick shithouse', Harry Maguire. The pair will talk on a variety of issues, including f...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire's Mam To Meet Her Majesty The Queen

Harry Maguire's Mam To Meet Her Majesty The Queen

There was rejoicing in South Yorkshire this afternoon, when the new Manchester United signing, Harry Maguire, broke the news to his dear old mam, that she had been invited to tea with Her Majesty the Queen. Maguire completed his move from Leiceste...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Now More Popular Than Harry Potter, Google Search Reveals

Harry Maguire Now More Popular Than Harry Potter, Google Search Reveals

Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking, record-breaking £80million Manchester United defender, is now even more popular than Harry Potter, a Google search has revealed. The little-lad magician has been the most popular 'Harry' for decades, b...

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Funny story: Lionel Messi Banned For Speaking The Truth About Corruption

Lionel Messi Banned For Speaking The Truth About Corruption

Lionel Messi, the Barcelona and Argentina footballer, has been banned from taking part in international matches for three months, for speaking the truth. The ban, imposed by Conmebol, the South American Football Confederation, comes as a result of...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Clear Up Brexit Mess

Harry Maguire To Clear Up Brexit Mess

Harry Maguire, Manchester United's new central defender who signed for the Reds from Leicester City on Monday for £80million, is to enter the world of politics. His first job will be to clear up the Brexit mess. Maguire has no political affilia...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Star As The Next James Bond

Harry Maguire To Star As The Next James Bond

The world of British entertainment cheered in unison last night when it was announced that Harry Maguire, the new Manchester United central defender will be the next James Bond. Maguire will replace Daniel Craig, who has been Bond four times, the...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Push Some Buttons On The Hadron Collider

Harry Maguire To Push Some Buttons On The Hadron Collider

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, has announced he will be flying to Geneva next week, to travel to Cern where scientists continue to work on the Hadron Collider, a big machine with which they are attempting to recreate the condi...

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Funny story: Sham 69 Single 'Hurry Up, Harry' To Be Re-released To Inspire Harry Maguire

Sham 69 Single 'Hurry Up, Harry' To Be Re-released To Inspire Harry Maguire

Punk rockers, Sham 69, are to honour the world record (for a defender) signing by Manchester United of former Sheffield United, Hull City and Leicester City defender Harry Maguire by re-releasing 'Hurry Up, Harry', their 1978 hit single. Maguire h...

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Funny story: Rangers Remain (Stupid)

Rangers Remain (Stupid)

Rangers manager, Steven Gerrard, today made the claim: If all the matches had finished at the 86th minute last season, we’d have won the league. That’s the brutal truth. Actually if all the games had finished on the 86th minute Celtic would hav...

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Funny story: Train's a Brawling

Train's a Brawling

Seven grown men were arrested today, after a football-related brawl on the London tube, in the build up to the friendly match between Manchester City and Liverpool. Shocking videos of the incident emerged showing people's grandads drunkenly swinging...

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Funny story: Stevenage Shirt Looks Like Burger King Staff Uniform!

Stevenage Shirt Looks Like Burger King Staff Uniform!

The football season is upon us again, and the big news from the lower leagues is on the topic of fashion! The new shirt to be worn during the 2019/20 football season by League Two side Stevenage F.C. is sure to have fans licking their lips in anti...

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Funny story: Andy Carroll Is Coming Back!

Andy Carroll Is Coming Back!

Regular hospital patient and part time footballer, Andy Carroll, has re-joined his boyhood club, Newcastle, on a free transfer. Andy, who has spent the last 6 years swanning around London nightclubs, admits he can’t wait to get stuck in again at his...

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Funny story: Winks Thinks A Football Tale

Winks Thinks A Football Tale

Tottenham starlet and all round average midfielder, Harry Winks, has been detained under the mental health act after proclaiming that “trophies are just around the corner” for his Tottenham team. He followed this bizarre outburst with statements like...

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Funny story: Manchester United Boss To Apologise To Kenny Dalglish

Manchester United Boss To Apologise To Kenny Dalglish

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is to say sorry to his Liverpool counterpart Kenny Dalglish after scolding him badly last weekend over his apparent protection of Anfield striker Luis Suarez. Ferguson said after the game at Old Trafford...

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Funny story: Sir Alex Happy

Sir Alex Happy

After a cup game against Halifax Town, where the scores were even after 90 minutes and in the 65th minute of injury time, Manchester United were granted special permission to bring on their 12th substitute and Sir Bobby Charlton hit the winner. Si...

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