Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband
Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, signed by Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, is to be given the Old Trafford captain's armband as a gesture of just how valuable an asset the cl...
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Manchester United Manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Head Is Getting Smaller
Rumours are rife around Old Trafford this morning, as speculation rises that Manchester United coach Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's head is getting smaller. Solskjaer was photographed alongside new signing, £80million former Sheffield United, Hull City an...
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Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United
Having previously told news reporters he would never sign for Premier League football giants Manchester United because he hated them, Harry Maguire has now had 'second thoughts', and signed for the Reds on Monday, for a ridiculous £97million. Magu...
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Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots
Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, says he might buy some new football boots, as a special treat to himself for becoming the most...
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Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th
New Manchester United defender, Harry Maguire, who signed for the Reds from Leicester City for £80million on Monday, has signed a second legal document, an affidavit with the club's solicitors affirming that, when his new club meet his old club at Ol...
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Harry Maguire To Meet President Donald Trump
White House sources say that President Donald Trump is to hold conference talks with new Manchester United signing, fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy, and 'brick shithouse', Harry Maguire. The pair will talk on a variety of issues, including f...
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Football Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea
Phil Neville Philosophical About England Defeat
Trump Answers Megan Rapinoe Refusal To Visit White House
Mike Ashley Is A Cuntroversial Man
England Women's Football Hooligans Go On The Rampage
Harry Maguire To Arm Wrestle Noel Edmonds In Battle To Host 'Deal Or No Deal' Comeback
Football Gossip: Nigerian Women, Hickman "Little Shit", Boothroyd Vote of Confidence
Football Gossip: Maureen's Friends(?), Solskjaer Sweet Shop, Braintree Town "WTF?"
Liverpool Plastic Fans Scheme Membership Soars
Women's World Cup Teams Get Fair Play Warning from FIFA
Cant Manage This
Rio Ferdinand Claims John Terry No Longer On His Christmas Card List
Harry Maguire's Mam To Meet Her Majesty The Queen
There was rejoicing in South Yorkshire this afternoon, when the new Manchester United signing, Harry Maguire, broke the news to his dear old mam, that she had been invited to tea with Her Majesty the Queen. Maguire completed his move from Leiceste...
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Harry Maguire Now More Popular Than Harry Potter, Google Search Reveals
Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking, record-breaking £80million Manchester United defender, is now even more popular than Harry Potter, a Google search has revealed. The little-lad magician has been the most popular 'Harry' for decades, b...
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Lionel Messi Banned For Speaking The Truth About Corruption
Lionel Messi, the Barcelona and Argentina footballer, has been banned from taking part in international matches for three months, for speaking the truth. The ban, imposed by Conmebol, the South American Football Confederation, comes as a result of...
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Harry Maguire To Clear Up Brexit Mess
Harry Maguire, Manchester United's new central defender who signed for the Reds from Leicester City on Monday for £80million, is to enter the world of politics. His first job will be to clear up the Brexit mess. Maguire has no political affilia...
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Harry Maguire To Star As The Next James Bond
The world of British entertainment cheered in unison last night when it was announced that Harry Maguire, the new Manchester United central defender will be the next James Bond. Maguire will replace Daniel Craig, who has been Bond four times, the...
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Harry Maguire To Push Some Buttons On The Hadron Collider
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, has announced he will be flying to Geneva next week, to travel to Cern where scientists continue to work on the Hadron Collider, a big machine with which they are attempting to recreate the condi...
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Sham 69 Single 'Hurry Up, Harry' To Be Re-released To Inspire Harry Maguire
Punk rockers, Sham 69, are to honour the world record (for a defender) signing by Manchester United of former Sheffield United, Hull City and Leicester City defender Harry Maguire by re-releasing 'Hurry Up, Harry', their 1978 hit single. Maguire h...
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Stevenage Shirt Looks Like Burger King Staff Uniform!
The football season is upon us again, and the big news from the lower leagues is on the topic of fashion! The new shirt to be worn during the 2019/20 football season by League Two side Stevenage F.C. is sure to have fans licking their lips in anti...
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Manchester United Boss To Apologise To Kenny Dalglish
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson is to say sorry to his Liverpool counterpart Kenny Dalglish after scolding him badly last weekend over his apparent protection of Anfield striker Luis Suarez. Ferguson said after the game at Old Trafford...
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