Lionel Messi has a gigantic cock
Reports are coming out of the Nou Camp stadium in Barcelona that tiny footballer Lionel Messi has a gigantic cock. The Argentinian struts his stuff in Spain and is acclaimed for his dribbling and ball control. He is also a clinical finisher w...
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Germany’s First All-Nude Female Soccer Team Wins It’s Season Opener
FRANKFURT, Germany – (Sports Satire) – The Alpha Beta News Agency is reporting that the world’s first all-nude women’s soccer team handily won their very first game. The unique soccer team known as The Frankfurt Frauleins easily defeated the all-m…
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Sir Bobby Charlton Is 82 Today!
Sir Bobby Charlton CBE, the former Preston North End and England legend, is celebrating his birthday today - he's 82 years young. Sir Bobby - real name Sir Robert - was injured but survived the 1958 Munich Air Disaster, playing for many more year...
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The L.A. Galaxy have just signed a 14-year-old soccer sensation
Buckroo Kazoo with The Turnstile Review has just broken the story that the L.A. Galaxy have just signed a 14-year-old soccer phenomenon from La Brea, California. The kid is Stiletto de La Salsa, who lives with his parents, six brothers and six sis…
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Sir Bobby Charlton Wades Into Solskjaer Sacking Debate
Manchester United legend, Sir Bobby Charlton, has weighed-in with his tuppenceworth to the debate about whether or not team manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer should be given more time to turn things around at Old Trafford, after the Red Devils' worst sta...
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Cristiano Ronaldo Signs For Hull City
There was great excitement in East Yorkshire this morning, when it was revealed that the former Manchester United, Real Madrid and Juventus star, Cristiano Ronaldo, had signed for Championship strugglers, Hull City. No cash was involved, as the Ti...
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Harry Maguire Seriously Considering His Future
House of Pain to University of Wisconsin Football Team: Grow up!
John Terry to move back into Barking council house
Could the sheep come to reinforce English football success?
Liverpool Kop Smacked Down Good And Proper At Last
Cristiano Ronaldo Cottaging Worry
Where are they now? Forbes Phillipson-Masters, Southampton Footballer
H&M To Consider Namechange After Confusion With Famous Footballer
Cristiano Ronaldo To Wear Leather Thong Under His Shorts
VAR To Sort Out If England 1966 World Cup Goal Was In Or Not
Neil Warnock's teeth
Jennifer Thompson To Service More England Players

Gascoigne takes the helm at Garforth Town
Paul Gascoigne, the cheeky Georgie who wowed the world with his football prowess back in 1998, has taken the vacant manager's job at Evo-Stik First Division (Northern) League side Garforth Town. Chairman of Garforth, Clifford the Big Red Dog, is d...
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Manchester United Hires The Premier League's First Female Footy
MANCHESTER, England - (Soccer Satire) - History has been made in the UK's world of sports. Manchester Morning Manc Newspaper reporter Cutter Shiloh, has just broken the story that the Red Devils have just signed the first female soccer player to e…
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McDonalds signs a five-year-contract with Wembley Stadium
The McDonalds fast food franchise has just signed a five-year deal to sell its food items at England's largest stadium. The contract calls for popular Mickey D food items such as Big Macs, McBoarBabyBackRibs, McTacos, and McDuckNuggets to be sold…
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Football Gossip & comments 16th August 2012
Man Utd agree £24m deal with Arsenal for striker Robin van Persie. The two clubs eventually agreed a price after weeks of offers and refusals. Officials agreed a deal last night over dinner - United offered to pay but apparently they went dutch. AC Milan have signed a 10-year-old girl from East Dunbartonshire after she impressed scouts while on a family holiday in La Manga. (Metro) A talent...
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Melania Trump Wears A Pair of Tight-Fitting Daisy Duke Short Shorts To Son Barron’s Soccer Match
WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady, Melania Trump, who is 49, caused quite a stir at son Barron’s recent soccer match. The first soccer mom showed up at The Pele Commemorative Soccer Complex wearing a tiny sports bra and a pair of tight-fitting Daisy Duke...
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Guatemala Has The World's Greatest and Most Luxurious Soccer Stadium
GUATEMALA CITY, Guatemala - (Satire News) - According to the Nacional News Agency, the Guatemala City Hot Tamale Ball Kickers play in Ixtantan Soccer Stadium, which is allegedly the most luxurious stadium in the world, even more luxurious than a gold…
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Stanley Cup Bigger than World Cup, Contends NHL; FIFA Protests
EDMONTON, Alberta, Canada -- The National Hockey League, which is apparently unaware that Canada is not part of the United States, or vice versa, today presented indisputable evidence from a study in the making for the last three months show...
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An L.A. Galaxy forward signs with the Manchester United Red Devils
In a jaw-dropping move, Los Angeles Galaxy's rising star, Gino Vivi Quesada, has left fans opened mouthed as he secures a contract with none other than the illustrious Manchester United football team in the UK. Fifi Tripoli, the astute reporter fr…
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Mancini signs "The Man who drew 50,000 supporters"
It's official. Roberto Mancini has responded to recent criticisms that Manchester City cannot win the Premier League by signing a brand new striker who millions of people will recognise. In light of a recent all time low turnout at the City of Man...
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A Millwall Brick: How To Make One
When I talk to people about football, and the 'old days', the conversation invariably comes around to violence, or perceived violence, because, a lot of the time, it just never happened. Lots of running around, posturing, arm-waving and shouting, yes...
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"Chelsea Will Not Win Every Game 6-0", Warns Ancelotti
Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti has warned his team not to be complacent in their defence of the Premier League title, after they ran out 6-0 winners for the second week in succession against Wigan Athletic at the DW Stadium yesterday evening. The...
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Harry Maguire's Mam To Meet Her Majesty The Queen
There was rejoicing in South Yorkshire this afternoon, when the new Manchester United signing, Harry Maguire, broke the news to his dear old mam, that she had been invited to tea with Her Majesty the Queen. Maguire completed his move from Leiceste...
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The old saying goes: Back to the roots!
LONDON, England – (Satire News) – This is exactly what English football needs now. Although the national team is ranked 5th in the International Football Association's ranking list, it did not play well in the World Cup. Who is behind these words…
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Harry Maguire Wins National Lottery
In a story almost too unbelievable to be believed, the Manchester United and England centre-half, Harry Maguire's namesake, Mr. H Maguire of Manchester, has won the National Lottery jackpot this weekend. Mr. Maguire, whose first name - coincidenta...
Read full storyFunny Football (Soccer) Headlines
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Mancini signs "The Man who drew 50,000 supporters"
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Lionel Messi has a gigantic cock
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Football Gossip & comments 16th August 2012
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Harry Maguire Wins National Lottery
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Sir Bobby Charlton Wades Into Solskjaer Sacking Debate
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Melania Trump Wears A Pair of Tight-Fitting Daisy Duke Short Shorts To Son Barron’s Soccer Match
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Germany’s First All-Nude Female Soccer Team Wins It’s Season Opener
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The old saying goes: Back to the roots!
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An L.A. Galaxy forward signs with the Manchester United Red Devils
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The L.A. Galaxy have just signed a 14-year-old soccer sensation
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Stanley Cup Bigger than World Cup, Contends NHL; FIFA Protests
-
A Millwall Brick: How To Make One
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"Chelsea Will Not Win Every Game 6-0", Warns Ancelotti
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Gascoigne takes the helm at Garforth Town
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Harry Maguire's Mam To Meet Her Majesty The Queen
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Sir Bobby Charlton Is 82 Today!
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Cristiano Ronaldo Signs For Hull City
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Manchester United Hires The Premier League's First Female Footy
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Guatemala Has The World's Greatest and Most Luxurious Soccer Stadium
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McDonalds signs a five-year-contract with Wembley Stadium