Real Madrid Football Club Has Agreed Not To Move To Pamplona and Stay In Madrid
MADRID, Spain - (Sports Satire) - The owners of the Real Madrid Football Club first stated back in January of 2021, that they were seriously contemplating moving the team from Madrid to Pamplona, Spain. Los Socios (the owners) were not happy with…
Read full story
The Manchester United Cheerleaders Will Pattern Themselves After The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders
MANCHESTER, England – (UK Satire) – Like the old saying goes “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” the Glazer family, who owns the Manchester United Red Devils, have decided to take a cue from Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys.
Read full story
Harry Maguire Inspiration Behind Re-release Of Sham 69 Single 'Hurry Up, Harry'
Punk rockers, Sham 69, are to honour the world record (for a defender) signing by Manchester United of former Sheffield United, Hull City and Leicester City defender Harry Maguire by re-releasing 'Hurry Up, Harry', their 1978 hit single. Maguire h...
Read full story
Bezos-Musk Inc. Wants To Buy Manchester United
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – The largest company in the entire world, Bezos-Musk, Inc., has just made an offer to purchase England’s most popular football team (soccer in the US), the Manchester United Red Devils. Jeff Bezos said that althoug…
Read full story
Harry Maguire Bookmakers' Favourite To Be UK Charts Christmas Number 1
Harry Maguire, the new Manchester United signing who seems to be able to do just about anything everything he puts his hand to, has been made the bookmakers' favourite to reach number 1 in the UK charts at Christmas. This is astonishing news - eve...
Read full story
Sir Bobby Charlton Wades Into Solskjaer Sacking Debate
Manchester United legend, Sir Bobby Charlton, has weighed-in with his tuppenceworth to the debate about whether or not team manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer should be given more time to turn things around at Old Trafford, after the Red Devils' worst sta...
Read full story
Ghost Of Former Liverpool Manager Bill Shankly Seen Hovering Around Premier League Offices
Liverpool Boss Jürgen Klopp Facing Sack
Cristiano Ronaldo To Wear Leather Thong Under His Shorts
Harry Maguire To Arm Wrestle Noel Edmonds In Battle To Host 'Deal Or No Deal' Comeback
Sir Bobby Charlton Is 82 Today!
Mauricio Pochettino And José Mourinho To 'Same Sex' Dance On Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Show
Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Now Valued At Only £80
Jose Mourinho To Be Put In A Sack And A Taxi
Trump To Veto Gareth Bale Move
Manchester United Set To Sign Player With Foreign Name
Marcus Rashford To Donate 90% Of His Salary To Hungry Kids Campaign
Harry Maguire Says He Didn't Sign Last Season Because Jose Mourinho Was Manager
The Aberdeen Sea Wolves Defeat The Killarney Archers In The Scottish-Irish Football League’s Opener
ABERDEEN, Scotland – (Sports Satire) – The reigning champions of the Scottish-Irish Football League, the Aberdeen Sea Wolves, easily defeated their long time rivals the Killarney Archers 6-2. The game was held at the newly remodeled Mrs. Sean Conn…
Read full story
Trump Declares War On Mexico After USA Gold Cup Loss
President Donald Trump has said that as a result of the 2019 Gold Cup final defeat the United States suffered at the hands of Mexico, the two countries are now in a state of war. The US women's team became World Cup champions by beating the Nether...
Read full story
Lionel Messi has a gigantic cock
Reports are coming out of the Nou Camp stadium in Barcelona that tiny footballer Lionel Messi has a gigantic cock. The Argentinian struts his stuff in Spain and is acclaimed for his dribbling and ball control. He is also a clinical finisher w...
Read full story
Harry Maguire's Mam To Meet Her Majesty The Queen
There was rejoicing in South Yorkshire this afternoon, when the new Manchester United signing, Harry Maguire, broke the news to his dear old mam, that she had been invited to tea with Her Majesty the Queen. Maguire completed his move from Leiceste...
Read full story
Victoria Beckham To Sue Peterborough United Over Nickname
Victoria Beckham, the wife of that footballer, is to take legal action against Peterborough United Football Club over their nickname, it has been reported. Beckham, who used to be known as Posh Spice when she was a member of all-girl band the Spic...
Read full story
The Secret England Footballer: World Cup Shambles, My Personal Roundup
By the time you read this, I'll be back in Blighty doing the biz with the owner's daughter again. Just what I need and so does she. We'll be off to Ibiza for some pre-season R&R shortly. Well, never let it be said that I didn't do my best for...
Read full story
Breaking news…
Interested in writing your own spoof news stories like these?
Yes, tell me more!Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
A Millwall Brick: How To Make One
When I talk to people about football, and the 'old days', the conversation invariably comes around to violence, or perceived violence, because, a lot of the time, it just never happened. Lots of running around, posturing, arm-waving and shouting, yes...
Read full story
One last swallow at Wembley Stadium
LONDON, (Rooters) - A yankee woman, Maria O'Sullivan, pissed off a Londoner named Jack Cromwell, better known to his friends as the "Ripper," during a goal scored inside Wembley Stadium at the start of his country's World Cup qualifying game against…
Read full story
The City of Madrid Is Desperately Trying To Raise Money To Keep The Real Madrid Football Team From Moving To Pamplona, Spain
MADRID – (Sports Satire) – Sports Territory has just learned that the mayor of Madrid is so concerned about the Real Madrid football team moving to Pamplona, that he has taken a desperate measure. Tango Brisket with Sports Territory, reports that…
Read full story
Harry Maguire To Participate In General Election
Harry Maguire, the 26-year-old Manchester United centre-half, who became the costliest defender in the world when he signed for the Old Trafford club from Leicester City, has announced he will stand as an independent candidate against Boris Johnson i...
Read full story
Ice Cream Van Played 'Match Of The Day' Theme
Residents sat up and took notice, whilst others peered from behind their twitching curtains yesterday afternoon, when an ice cream van started playing the theme tune from Match Of The Day over its loudspeaker. The unlikely incident took place on t...
Read full story
West Brom Fans Disrespectful To Fallen War Heroes
Remembrance Day is the day when those who perished in battle are honoured with a celebration of their bravery, and recognition of the price they paid for our freedom. We should observe it, each in our own way, but, ideally, not in the way some sectio...
Read full story
Liverpool Football Club To Build a Football Stadium That Will Eclipse Wembley Stadium
LIVERPOOL, England – (UK Satire) – After several years in the planning stages, the chairman of the Liverpool Football Club. Tom “Hey Mate” Werner has just informed the UK sports media that construction will soon begin on a brand, new, state-of-the-ar…
Read full storyFunny Football (Soccer) Headlines
-
Man City Table Leeds United Bid
-
Liverpool F.C. Sold to Owners of Taco Bell
-
Sir Alex Ferguson dismisses Man Utd 'will become gay' rumours
-
Manchester United Manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Head Is Getting Smaller
-
Manchester United's Harry Maguire Buys Custom-Made Captain's Armband Out Of His Own Money
-
Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Self-Isolating In His Gas Cupboard
-
Football Referees Will ALL Have Coronavirus Symptoms
-
Football Pundits Argue And Almost Come To Blows On Show
-
The Los Angeles Galaxy Will Play Manchester United in London's Wembley Stadium
-
Harry Maguire Dedicates Victory Over Germany To Monkey Woods
-
Torres Can't Kop A Feel
-
Wayne Rooney reveals where they took the hair follicles from
-
Einstürzende Neubauten Booked To Perform Before FA Cup Final
-
Newcastle United Boss Steve Bruce Admits His Team Didn't Know How To Handle Aaron Wilbraham
-
Liverpool Want Harry Maguire In Summer After Watford Defensive Disaster
-
Cristiano Ronaldo Signs For Hull City
-
Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Write Book About Greek Nightmare
-
GoTravelBlogger.com Writer Copied Man's Story Claiming It Was By Him Or Her
-
Liverpool: The Wheels Are Well-And-Truly Off!
-
Liverpool Boss Jürgen Klopp Has Lost The Dressing Room
