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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Funny story: Mike Ashley Is A Cuntroversial Man

Mike Ashley Is A Cuntroversial Man

Ex England boss and full-time chippy connoisseur, Sam Allardyce, has sensationally revealed today that he has turned down an approach from Newcastle United to return as manager. In a phone interview with owner, Mike Ashley, Big Sam reportedly said:...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea

Football Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea

Arsenal are prepared to add defenders Calum Chambers, Carl Jenkinson or midfielder Mohamed Elneny into any potential deal for Crystal Palace's Wilfried Zaha. The Gunners have already had a £40m offer for the 26-year-old Ivory Coast winger rejected.

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Funny story: Trump Declares War On Mexico After USA Gold Cup Loss

Trump Declares War On Mexico After USA Gold Cup Loss

President Donald Trump has said that as a result of the 2019 Gold Cup final defeat the United States suffered at the hands of Mexico, the two countries are now in a state of war. The US women's team became World Cup champions by beating the Nether...

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Funny story: Phil Neville Philosophical About England Defeat

Phil Neville Philosophical About England Defeat

England Women's football team coach, Phil Neville, was philosophical in defeat last night, as his charges went out of the World Cup in Paris with a 2-1 reverse at the hands of holders and favorites, the USA. Neville told reporters: "It's back to t...

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Funny story: England Women's Football Hooligans Go On The Rampage

England Women's Football Hooligans Go On The Rampage

Football hooliganism, a thing that was thought by the authorities to have been battered into the past, reared its ugly head again in France last night, as hundreds of female England 'thugesses' went on the rampage through the streets of Paris, causin...

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Funny story: Trump Answers Megan Rapinoe Refusal To Visit White House

Trump Answers Megan Rapinoe Refusal To Visit White House

President Donald Trump has reacted characteristically to comments made by Megan Rapinoe, the US Women's football player who said she wouldn't visit the White House should her team win the World Cup. Trump tweeted: "She's a women. She'll do as s...

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Funny story: Cant Manage This

Cant Manage This

Ex-England striker, Manchester United forward and convicted drunk driver, Wayne Rooney, has sensationally revealed that he has had “managerial offers” even before he hangs up his boots. The revelations were discovered by Back and to the Left news two...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Nigerian Women, Hickman "Little Shit", Boothroyd Vote of Confidence

Football Gossip: Nigerian Women, Hickman "Little Shit", Boothroyd Vote of Confidence

After photographic evidence emerged of Nigerian players seemingly protecting testicles while facing a free kick, FIFA has begun an investigation into allegations that Nigeria's Women's World Cup team may not be all it seems. Coventry City defender...

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Funny story: Ten Things You May Not Have Known About: Shrewsbury Town Football Club

Ten Things You May Not Have Known About: Shrewsbury Town Football Club

When we think about football, we immediately picture, in our minds, the giants of the game - Manchester United, Barcelona, Real Madrid, Juventus, Peter Crouch and so on. But what about the 'little teams'? The also-rans. The cannon fodder. Today, we f...

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Funny story: Liverpool Plastic Fans Scheme Membership Soars

Liverpool Plastic Fans Scheme Membership Soars

Liverpool Football Club have released details of their new Plastic Fans Scheme, and say advance enquiries have caught their Anfield administration department on the hop. Fresh from their Champions League success, and a brilliant Premier League cam...

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Funny story: Football Season In 'Delay' Shock

Football Season In 'Delay' Shock

It's been revealed by sources close to the game, that the traditional start to the football season may be delayed by "as much as two weeks" due, it's claimed, to "circumstances beyond our control". It's not yet clear what the circumstances are tha...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Maureen's Friends(?), Solskjaer Sweet Shop, Braintree Town "WTF?"

Football Gossip: Maureen's Friends(?), Solskjaer Sweet Shop, Braintree Town "WTF?"

Former Manchester United goalkeeper Anders Lindegaard says David Moyes replacing Sir Alex Ferguson at Old Trafford was like "charging an iPhone with a Nokia charger" whereas the appointment of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer was like "letting a three-year-old l...

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Funny story: Women's World Cup Teams Get Fair Play Warning from FIFA

Women's World Cup Teams Get Fair Play Warning from FIFA

"It's just not good enough," ranted FIFA President Gianni Infantino "and they've got to play the game fairly." At a hastily-convened press conference for the alcohol-sodden, chain-smoking football press corps, the bald-as-a-coot Mr Infantino expla...

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Funny story: Liverpool Victory Parade To Take In Greater Manchester

Liverpool Victory Parade To Take In Greater Manchester

Liverpool, fresh from their 2-0 Champions League victory over Tottenham, have announced details of their victory parade route, and there is one major surprise in store - the parade will reach as far out of town as Manchester. It had been planned t...

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Funny story: Poch £50m Bonus For Delivering Champions League Trophy

Poch £50m Bonus For Delivering Champions League Trophy

London, UK - (COYS!): Mauricio Pochettino will pocket a stonking £50m bonus when the Lilywhites obliterate Liverpool in the Champions League cup final next Saturday at Wanda Metropolitano Stadium in Madrid. The deal sees Tottenham players guarant...

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Funny story: George Best Sculptor To Get His Eyes Tested

George Best Sculptor To Get His Eyes Tested

The sculptor who sculpted the sculpture of football and drinking legend, George Best, has apologised for it, and has said he fully intends to get his eyes tested. Tony Currie, who sculpts with the kind of ham-fistedness you might expect from an ex...

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Funny story: Pep Guardiola Has Hurt His Back

Pep Guardiola Has Hurt His Back

Pep Guardiola, the victorious Manchester City coach, who last season guided his charges to an unprecedented Maine Road treble with Premier League, FA Cup and successes, has hurt his back. The injury was sustained when he was being tossed, 'birthda...

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