Jennifer Thompson To Service More England Players

Funny story written by Geissler

Thursday, 9 September 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Jennifer Thompson To Service More England Players
Thompson soothing Jermain Defoe

Jennifer Thompson, the 21-year-old Bolton strumpet who recently broke into the headlines after sitting on Wayne Rooney's face, has been drafted into Fabio Capello's squad for the rest of the Euro 2012 qualifying campaign.

She is to work closely with the players in 'training'.

Some might say "too closely".

Thompson it was who Manchester United star Rooney visited for sex seven times during the last four months, sparking speculation that he is a normal red-blooded male who can't be bothered to saddle himself with the encumbrance of having to go through the rituals of chatting up a bird in a pub or club, before taking her down a dark back alley to shag.

Juci Jeni, as the back of her shirt will read, is an expert on metatarsils, pectorals, testicles and penis helmets, and will slobber on the latter until the cows, or any other farmyard animals, come home, giving soothing relaxation to the England players, exhausted after a gruelling work-out on the training ground.

Capello told reporters: "Issa good for deplayers to have a relax widda degirls."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more