BROOKLYN, New York - (Spoof News) - The New York Sunshine Observer Newspaper reports that ToxicTrump has been put on suicide watch
Reporter Carmine Calatino said that he caught a glimpse of the haggard looking, 34-count indicted asshole and said that he looked like adult whale shit mixed into a slimy Atlantic Ocean oil spill.
Kimberly Guilfoyle who is considered by many to simply be a Puerto Rican golddigger remarked that her future husband Don "Dopey" Trump Jr. told her that he is afraid that the Old Nazi jerk may try to OD on Big Macs.
But like his personal physician Dr. Yang Fufi stated, "The Orange Predator would probably have to eat about 45 burgers in order to actually overdose."
