Funny story - Germany Cancels Christmas Due To The Ongoing Trumpapalooza Pandemic

Germany Cancels Christmas Due To The Ongoing Trumpapalooza Pandemic

BERLIN, Germany – (Satire News) – Germany’s national news agency, Sieg Heil, has just informed the German people that they will be cancelling this year’s Christmas season. A reporter for Seig Heil noted that due to the Trumpapalooza virus, all Ger…

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Funny story - Donald the Con Man

Donald the Con Man

(To be sung to the melody of "Frosty the Snowman") Donald the Con Man was a pissy mean old fool With a fake orange face and a bulbous nose And two eyes without a soul. Donald the Con Man is a sordid tale, they say. He was made of dough but the…

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Funny story - Limahl looking forward to going on their 'Pointless' Tour

Limahl looking forward to going on their 'Pointless' Tour

Popular eighties beat combo, Limahl, are looking forward to heading out on their next tour, aptly named The Pointless Tour. 'Yes' said the band's manager 'we saw that the equally popular Tears for Fears had named their next live jaunt 'The Tipping…

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Funny story - Holiday Message From Eoj Nedib And Alamak Sirrah

Holiday Message From Eoj Nedib And Alamak Sirrah

BILLINGSGATE POST: There is no universally accepted term to describe the reversing of letters to mock public figures. But to those who care about esoteric trivia, Joe Biden spelled backwards = Eoj Nedib. As previously noted, in the first caliphate, t…

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Funny story - Abba Fan knows she will get seven copies of their new CD for Christmas

Abba Fan knows she will get seven copies of their new CD for Christmas

Abba Fan Catherine Fitzgerald knows that at least seven of her friends and family will buy her a copy of Voyager, the new CD from Abba for Christmas. She said 'I don't mind husband Tom buying me a copy, as we had Abba play at our wedding, and it i…

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Funny story - Biden - Fauci clash on Santa's 2021 Christmas Rounds

Biden - Fauci clash on Santa's 2021 Christmas Rounds

Just an hour after Dr. Fauci ordered that Santa must shelter-in-place this year until further notice, President Biden issued a statement claiming he was in contact with NORAD, tracking Santa's progress. Reached at his home for comment, Fauci sound…

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Funny story - Harry Maguire Bookmakers' Favourite To Be UK Charts Christmas Number 1

Harry Maguire Bookmakers' Favourite To Be UK Charts Christmas Number 1

Harry Maguire, the new Manchester United signing who seems to be able to do just about anything everything he puts his hand to, has been made the bookmakers' favourite to reach number 1 in the UK charts at Christmas. This is astonishing news - eve...

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Funny story - Questions raised as to when Shakin' Stevens biggest song can be played in the shops

Questions raised as to when Shakin' Stevens biggest song can be played in the shops

Christmas is usually a time for remembering a great Aunt with a Christmas Card, why your parents watched the Good Life in the seventies, and for remembering Shakin' Stevens, and his ever-green festive song Merry Christmas Everyone. This year, the…

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Funny story - Family game of Jenga leads to divorce

Family game of Jenga leads to divorce

A traditional family game of Jenga at Christmas has led to divorce like it has done every year for the past few years. Stacey Johnson and Sidney Bartholomew were playing their traditional family game of Jenga with Stacey’s Brother Gary, sister in…

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Funny story - He Shot His Eye Out!

He Shot His Eye Out!

Ever wonder what happened to Ralphie, the child star of the beloved movie ‘The Christmas Story’? The one who absolutely had to have a Red Ryder BB gun from Santa for Christmas or he would just die? The one who everyone warned that he ‘would shoot his…

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Funny story - We Didn't Do It and You Can't Prove it: No.10

We Didn't Do It and You Can't Prove it: No.10

The Government has issued a statement today saying nothing had been 'going on' and if there was they didn't know about it. The Prime Minister's (latest) spokesman said, 'It wasn't him, and it definitely wasn't me. I've only been in this job twent…

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Funny story - Trumpers Won't Accept Presents from 'Lib-tard' Santa

Trumpers Won't Accept Presents from 'Lib-tard' Santa

Trump supporters are taking their loathing of anything that even has a whiff of democracy to the next level. And now, they are aiming their AR-15's straight at Santa Claus! Right wings news outfits have recently referred to him as a, 'Flaming libe…

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Funny story - Nan puts sprouts on to boil for Christmas dinner

Nan puts sprouts on to boil for Christmas dinner

A nan has started preparing for Christmas by putting the sprouts on a low simmer to ensure they are at optimum indistinguishable mushiness on the big day. Veronica Perkins, 67, said, “I spend thirty-seven hours putting little crosses in 22,000 sp…

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Funny story - Honey Boo Boo and Bob Dylan Record A Christmas Song

Honey Boo Boo and Bob Dylan Record A Christmas Song

LOS ANGELES - A representative for Bob Dylan has just announced that the 71-year-old folk singer has just recorded a Christmas song with the star of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Alana Thompson, 7. Dylan's rep told Music Moments Magazine that he was f...

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Funny story - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer dies of alcoholism

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer dies of alcoholism

Rudolph, the famous beacon nosed reindeer who helped Santa Claus guide his sleigh during a treacherous winter night some 60 years ago, has died of alcoholism. He was 73.

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Funny story - Small Child will always be scared of being visited by strange man on Christmas Eve

Small Child will always be scared of being visited by strange man on Christmas Eve

Three and Half year old Jacob will always be scared of a strange old man visiting him at Christmas. The slightly odd chap, who asked for a globe and a kitchen appliance from Santa, had been a good boy, but the whole idea of a strange man in his ho…

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Funny story - A 96-Year-Old Woman Is Caught Trying To Steal a 19-Foot Christmas Tree From Walmart

A 96-Year-Old Woman Is Caught Trying To Steal a 19-Foot Christmas Tree From Walmart

MOBILE, Alabama - (Satire News) - It’s hard to believe that national retail stores such as Dilly Dally, Lollygag, and Walmart are already starting to sell Christmas items such as ornaments, wreaths, Christmas Ramen, and of course Christmas trees.

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Funny story - Christmas Cancelled As Shakin Stevens Discovers First Grey Hair

Christmas Cancelled As Shakin Stevens Discovers First Grey Hair

Christmas 2021 is officially cancelled this year, as it has been confirmed that raven-haired Welsh rocker Shakin Stevens found a grey hair while brushing his teeth this morning. Shaky, real name Michael Parratt, 97, has been entertaining people w…

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Funny story - Donald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller

Donald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller

The festive season is upon us once more, and as parents desperately wrack their brains for ideas to excite and surprise their children, help is at hand, as this year's most popular toy is set to be the new, updated Donald Trump Talking Doll. The d…

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Funny story - Rotten Tomato Thrown At Queen's Bedroom Window

Rotten Tomato Thrown At Queen's Bedroom Window

Her Majesty the Queen has come under attack from a man who threw a rotten tomato at her Buckingham Palace bedroom window, after she failed to join the rest of the Royal Family during their visit to the Sandringham estate in Norfolk on Christmas Day.

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