Funny story: Mud 'Lonely This Christmas' To Be Re-Issued

Mud 'Lonely This Christmas' To Be Re-Issued

The British glam-rock group, Mud, have announced that their record company will be re-releasing one of their biggest hit singles, 'Lonely This Christmas' later this month, before it's too late! Mud had a string of Top-10 hits during the early 1970...

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Funny story: Donald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller

Donald Trump Talking Doll - With New Added Phrases - Expected To Be Christmas Bestseller

The festive season is upon us once more, and as parents desperately wrack their brains for ideas to excite and surprise their children, help is at hand, as this year's most popular toy is set to be the new, updated Donald Trump Talking Doll. The d...

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Funny story: Man Spends Hours Popping Bubblewrap With His Children

Man Spends Hours Popping Bubblewrap With His Children

A man has revealed how he and his two children spent 'hours' indulging in the extremely satisfying activity of bursting the bubbles in a sheet of bubblewrap that had been used as protective covering on his daughter's new bike. Moys Kenwood, 56, an...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Warned About Christmas Carol Singing Nuisance

Harry Maguire Warned About Christmas Carol Singing Nuisance

The festive season is well-and truly upon us, and not without an early controversy, as Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire and his girlfriend Fern Hawkins have upset some of their neighbours with their own particular brand of...

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Funny story: Man Can't Seem To Get Rid Of Phlegm From His Chest

Man Can't Seem To Get Rid Of Phlegm From His Chest

A man who has been suffering from some kind of virulent Asian 'flu for more than three weeks now, has admitted that, despite taking various medicines to lower the fever, provide pain relief, and to loosen the breathing-restrictive matter on his lungs...

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Funny story: The Spoof Guide to making a generic feel good Christmas Film

The Spoof Guide to making a generic feel good Christmas Film

With the Christmas channel seemingly starting to broadcast films from mid-March, they have a serious number of hours to film with cheap, made-for-television films. It can be a lucrative market, particularly if it is shown during the day in November,...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Play Father Christmas At Manchester United Christmas Party

Harry Maguire To Play Father Christmas At Manchester United Christmas Party

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, is to take on an extra responsibility over the coming Christmas period, when he will be donning a Santa Claus suit and a big, fluffy, white beard, and acting as the official club Fath...

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Funny story: Santa Putin

Santa Putin

Sung by Donald Trump, in his negligee. Santa Putin, just slip some oppo on Joe Biden, For me. Been a really useful tool, Santa Putin, So hurry down my chimney tonight. Santa Putin, the 2020 election too, For my coup. I'll wait up for you d...

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Funny story: New Year To Have The Lowest 4-Digit Total For Nine Years

New Year To Have The Lowest 4-Digit Total For Nine Years

As 2019 slowly, but surely, approaches its conclusion, and we get ever nearer to another new year, it's been noticed that next year - 2020 (twenty-twenty) - will contain the individual digits' lowest total since nine years ago, in 2011. It will al...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Preside Over Manchester United Christmas Service

Harry Maguire To Preside Over Manchester United Christmas Service

Manchester United have announced full details of their Christmas and New Year celebrations, with the highlight being the MUFC Christmas Service to be held outside Old Trafford on Sunday, 22 December, and which will be presided over by central defende...

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Funny story: Christmas Is On The Way

Christmas Is On The Way

News is just now emerging that Christmas, the Christian festival that supposedly marks the birth of Jesus the Son of God, and is now celebrated around the world by giving each other various unwanted gifts, is coming. If this wasn't bad enough, the...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Has Decided To Leave His Christmas Shopping Until After The Sales Start

Harry Maguire Has Decided To Leave His Christmas Shopping Until After The Sales Start

You wouldn't have thought he'd have been short of a bob or two, but that's the impression several people have been given tonight, after Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire, announced that he is to leave his Christmas-present shopping un...

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Funny story: Fresh from the hunt Royal Glums celebrate Christmas wearing dead animals on their heads causing royal sycophants to show up at parties with half-eaten, left-over turkey and goose carcasses draped over their noggins

Fresh from the hunt Royal Glums celebrate Christmas wearing dead animals on their heads causing royal sycophants to show up at parties with half-eaten, left-over turkey and goose carcasses draped over their noggins

The hunt's over and done. The foxes have been skinned; the beavers stripped; the pheasants plucked. All's well with the Glum Family. Off with his head. Bring on the hats! In the Mine's Bigger Than Yours Parade, the Royal Glums stepped out on Chr...

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Funny story: Are you excited about the Archer's Pantomime this year?

Are you excited about the Archer's Pantomime this year?

Hello, I am Brian Asshat, esquire of the parish of Chutney on The Fritz, protector of the English language, spotter of trains, and bell ringer, and I have just one question for you: Are you excited at the Archer's Pantomime this year? I am not...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Switch On Manchester Christmas Lights

Harry Maguire To Switch On Manchester Christmas Lights

There was good news for the shopping public of Manchester today, when it was announced that Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, would be appearing 'in person' in the city centre on Thursday, 14 November, to switch the city's Christ...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Bookmakers' Favourite To Be UK Charts Christmas Number 1

Harry Maguire Bookmakers' Favourite To Be UK Charts Christmas Number 1

Harry Maguire, the new Manchester United signing who seems to be able to do just about anything everything he puts his hand to, has been made the bookmakers' favourite to reach number 1 in the UK charts at Christmas. This is astonishing news - eve...

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Funny story: The Queen has a cold.

The Queen has a cold.

The News. December 21st 2016. The Queen, 90, has a cold and her Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed. Prince Philip, 95, has a cold and his Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed. Doris Hodgkins, 91, has a cold and will...

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Funny story: Santa Claus Implicated In Drone Row

Santa Claus Implicated In Drone Row

Santa Claus and his reindeers are the latest suspects in the Gatwick Airport Drone Row that threatens to drag on and on and on and on and on, simply because the inept British police force haven't got a clue as to how to root out the amateur flyers re...

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Funny story: Santa Shot Down By NORAD; Millions of Children Witness Catastrophe

Santa Shot Down By NORAD; Millions of Children Witness Catastrophe

The US Air Force, NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command), in a gross case of mistaken identity, disintegrated Santa Clause and his 18 reindeer over Washington airspace this evening. Apparently, the heavy red man was flying over restricted a...

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Funny story: Trump Asks Santa for Giant Wall for Christmas

Trump Asks Santa for Giant Wall for Christmas

President Elect Donald Trump took a break from tweeting insults to finish his Christmas wish list. According to an unnamed White House source Mr. Trump's top item on his Christmas wish list was a giant wall. Supposedly the list began with "Item numb...

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