Eco Warrior Dies In Christmas Shock

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Saturday, 2 January 2021

image for Eco Warrior Dies In Christmas Shock
The garden, still alight this evening.

An 18 year old eco-warrior has died this weekend, after her attempts to save the planet went horribly wrong.

Clara 'Serendipity' Parker took a stand against what she called the UK's 'mass culling' of over 6 million Christmas trees, by protesting outside tree stalls all over the country.

She also created an infamous online presence in the run up to Christmas, where she would comment 'killer', 'murderer', or 'scum' on any cross-platform, social media post, showing a Christmas tree in a front room - usually in capital letters, as a sign that she really meant it.

Parker's reign of shame took a more serious tone, however, as Christmas ended.

DCI Medlock, of the Hertfordshire constabulary, told us: 'her latest tactic was breaking into people's homes and 'rescuing' trees by stealing them and replanting them in her local park.'

On the evening of January 2nd, however, Miss Parker made a fatal mistake.

Medlock explained: 'she'd broken into a house, and was surprised by the occupants moving around upstairs. She made a quick exit through the window, taking the tree with her, and quickly planted it in their garden. But, in her haste, she didn't spot it was a fake tree. One of those really realistic ones, with the built-in lights.'

'Still plugged in, as soon as the tree went into the ground, 'BANG!', 240 volts up through her! Didn't stand a chance,' he continued.

The resulting cascade of sparks blew Miss Parker's shoes clean into next doors garden, and set the fake tree on fire. This fire, in turn, set the shed, a fence and some nearby bushes alight. This resulted in the twelve surrounding houses to be evacuated, due to the toxic fumes.

Investigators are still at the scene, and the fire service are still attempting to get the blaze under control.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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