Santa Claus Loses Job, Blames Scrooge

Written by Gail Farrelly

Monday, 7 November 2011

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You'd better watch out!

"A pox on their house," was the reaction of Mr. Claus when he found out he wouldn't be hired by one Midwestern town in the U. S. this year. He controlled his language in consideration of Mrs. Claus, who was standing at his side when he got the news. However, according to the elves (they have big ears, y'know!), Santa DID mutter a few obscenities, just under his breath.

Later he commented: "Budget problems? Gimme a break. Whoever heard of a town that couldn't afford Christmas? Where are their priorities, for Pete's sake?"

Those who made this decision had better watch out. Their names have been added to Santa's naughty list. On Christmas morning, they'll be finding stockings that are totally empty. "Not even a piece of coal will be there," Santa said, continuing, "coal could give them a couple of hours of nice warm heat; they don't even deserve THAT."

A bitter Santa insists Ebenezer Scrooge is behind the scheme to make him jobless. "I never did believe all that hogwash about his miracle transformation," Santa said. "He bought a big goose and gave out a couple of presents, thinking he could redeem himself. No way. He's still the same obnoxious grouch he always was, and now he's denying me a job."

Late word is that Santa has hired an attorney and is thinking of suing. He feels he may have been discriminated against because of his size or his age. Meanwhile, Mr. Claus is seeing a psychologist to deal with issues related to a loss of self-esteem.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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