Trump Interview Sitting On Abraham Lincoln’s Lap
Trump initially wanted to be interviewed while sitting on Abraham Lincoln’s lap, but wiser heads prevailed. At first, Trump insisted it would be a great photo op. He could sit up there with his usual man-spread presenting a domineering position. The...
Read full storyBoris Johnson To Announce End Of UK Lockdown
Coronavirus News: According to a Downing Street source, Prime Minister Boris Johnson will, later this week, announce the government's blueprint for a total release of the UK lockdown that has been in place since Monday 23rd March. "Prime Minister...
Read full storyTrump Holds News Conference With Single Fox News Reporter About Coronavirus Origin and Treatments
Washington - After his daily Covid-19 news conferences with multiple White House correspondents and reporters resulted in embarrassingly ridiculous comments being disseminated to the public and questioned by the incredulous attendees, President Donal...
Read full storySerial Murderer Released To Make Room For Barber Shop Owner
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a heartwarming gesture, Walter “Chainsaw” Williams, who was sentenced to life in prison without parole for gruesomely sawing up nineteen victims in a nine-day crime spree, relinquished his cell in San Quentin so that Willy “Sci...
Read full storyTrump's PC hacked
Well-known hacker group, Anonymous, today revealed they had beaten White House cyber security defences, and had taken a copy of Donald Trump"s personal computer. The computer's contents were later published on the internet. The unusually sparse P...
Read full storyTravel Review: Isle of Man
On stepping off the ferry in the quaint port of Douglas, my phone sent me a nice message telling me I was now data roaming. At first I thought that this was because I was in a different country, but it wasn't. It was because I was now in a different...
Read full storySweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines
The United States is taking steps to extradite the country of Sweden, which declined to impose a nationwide lockdown in response to the coronavirus pandemic and, instead, encouraged citizens to practice good judgment and limit contact with vulnerable...
Read full storyTwo Lechers
Lechers have occupied the oval office from time to time throughout U.S. history—Harding, Johnson, and Clinton are just some of the names that come to mind. For the first time in U.S. history, however, two old roués, both of whom are showing signs of...
Read full storyWendy’s Hamburgers Have Drastically Shrunk in Size
DETROIT – The beef shortage has already caused the price of beef to shoot through the roof. One customer at a Wendy’s in Detroit, ordered the Baconator burger. And when he opened his container box, he noticed that the two meats were both the si...
Read full storyKentucky Derby Officials Say There’s a Way To Still Run This Year’s Race
LOUISVILLE – It was a foregone conclusion that this year’s edition of the annual Kentucky Derby horse race would be cancelled due to the Coronavirus pandemic. But derby racing officials have hit upon a way to actually run the traditional event.
Read full storyA Drive-Thru Pole Dancing Club in Austin is Making a Killing
AUSTIN, Texas – The owner of the Thirsty Beaver Nightclub had shut down his business due to the Coronavirus. But Randy Dewdibbler soon found a way to observe the social distancing rule, and make lots of money at the same time. Randy and his sec...
Read full storyDanica Patrick Wants To Return To NASCAR
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin – Retired NASCAR driver Danica Patrick spoke with Sports Territory Magazine and said that now that NASCAR will be resuming, she wants in. The petite, live-in girlfriend of Green Bay Packers quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, remarked...
Read full storyFactory Worker Wants Lockdown To Go On Forever
A factory operative who has now been at home for six weeks due to the Coronavirus lockdown, has said that he doesn't mind "one bit", and that he hopes it goes on indefinitely. Tatty Mullett, who works at a company making toilet seats, said that, a...
Read full storySuicidal Man Seeks Covid-19 Infection
Madison Ave., New York City. Special to The Spoof. A timid, despondent man was sent to the psychiatric ward at Bellevue today after repeated attempts to contract the Covid-19 virus by hugging intensive care virus patients at Queens Hospital here.
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