A Drive-Thru Pole Dancing Club in Austin is Making a Killing

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 6 May 2020

image for A Drive-Thru Pole Dancing Club in Austin is Making a Killing
Pole dancer Lily "Libido" Dilley made $703 in tips just in the first night (and all of it was in one dollar bills).

AUSTIN, Texas – The owner of the Thirsty Beaver Nightclub had shut down his business due to the Coronavirus.

But Randy Dewdibbler soon found a way to observe the social distancing rule, and make lots of money at the same time.

Randy and his second wife, Abigail, hit upon the idea of turning their nightclub into a drive-thru pole dancing establishment.

Dewdibbler called back four of his sexiest strippers, and he had several of his male employees construct a stage, complete with a state-of-the-art dance pole.

Abigail said that the first day they were open, cars were lined up for 9 blocks.

Randy actually had to hire four security guards with tasers, pepper spray, and electrical prods to make sure everyone stayed in line.

He remarked that everything went off like a charm, and added that the grandpas, especially, loved watching the sultry, semi-naked, nubile women; the grandmas, not so much.

One of the featured dancers, identified as Lily “Libido” Dilley, pointed out that the customers pay $10, and they get to pick two songs that the dancers will dance to, as the patrons sit in the privacy of their cars (or trucks).

Lily remarked that one clever University of Texas student requested the heavy metal song by Iron Butterfly titled “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” which runs 16 minutes. He was politely asked to pick another song.

Dewdibbler said that his drive-thru pole dancing club is doing so well that he plans to open up two more very soon.

A reporter with the San Antonio Suggester-Gazette newspaper commented to the Dewdibbler’s that their drive-thru gig is the very essence of the phrase “thinking outside the box”.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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