Spoof Writer Confesses, Comes Out of Closet
Three decades ago, Wall St. Journal reporter, A. Kent MacDougal came out of the closet, revealing his addiction to socialism. At the time, I considered a similar coming-out, but, with probably another thirty years to continue my own deception, I opt...
Read full storyTrump May Be Afraid To Debate Biden
Donald Trump’s bone spurs have reappeared, at least according to Trump’s close friend, Dr. Pierson Stab. The bone spurs kept Trump from being drafted and sent to fight in the Vietnam War. The debilitating nature of the spurs of a then-athletic twenty...
Read full storyBiden says Lockdown must continue or his voters will Run!
Joe Biden, commander of the repressive government forces stated that, "the lockdown of American voters must continue or the plantation workers will revolt and run". Biden says full government control is essential for the electoral process to be fu...
Read full storyA Mothers Day Blow Up For Donald Trump
It isn’t clear whether Donald J. Trump had a nervous breakdown or if Mothers Day was just a plain crazy-time blow up as usual. Donald J. sent one hundred tweets in one day, and that was his Mothers Day. The guy must have been in some kind of labor...
Read full storyRace On To Find Word That Rhymes With 'Nincompoop'
It's been reported that etymologists worldwide are involved in a desperate race to find a word that rhymes with 'nincompoop'. And that doesn't mean, of course, that they can use words like 'stoop', 'loop', or 'hoop', but the rhyming word must rhym...
Read full storyReopen Your Hearts
Professional liar and part time politician, Michael Gove, has stated that “schools are perfectly safe to reopen”, then immediately said “the only way to be safe from the virus is to stay at home”. Which is going to be difficult if the government are...
Read full storyNashville Man Maintains Healthy Level of Panic over Coronavirus
“At first, it didn’t seem like a big deal – so what if I get sick, was my take on things,” said 28-year-old Matt Fisher of Nashville, Tennessee, regarding the widely publicized coronavirus pandemic. “But eventually, I came to realize I should have be...
Read full storyThe Fox Network to Merge With Comedy Central
NEW YORK CITY – In a move that caught just about every employee at the Fox Network by surprise, Fox owner, Rupert Murdoch, has announced that Fox will be merging with Comedy Central. The Baltimore Beacon Star newspaper first broke the news after t...
Read full storyTit-anic: Joes hands on search for the right VP continues
Joe Biden's endless search for the right candidate for his VP continues tirelessly. Joe says "it's an extremely tough gambit to find the right girl that has the right touch for the job, and I will do what it requires to make her successful in the...
Read full storyGuatemala Facing a Serious Financial Crisis is Having to Sell Their Two Naval Vessels
GUATEMALA CITY, Guatemala – The president of Guatemala has just informed the citizens of Gua-Gua, as the country is affectionately called by the other Central American countries, that the nation has run out of money. President Alejandro "Guacamole...
Read full storyNorthern Colluder is Favored to Win The Kentucky Derby
LAS VEGAS – The Gambling Capital of the World has reported that they have chosen the horse who they feel will win the 146th running of the Kentucky Derby. Northern Colluder, owned by Saudi Arabian Prince Sim San Kashobi, who owns most of the Karma...
Read full storyTrump Denies The Rumor That He Has A Tattoo of Ivanka
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president was sitting at a McDonalds with Scott Baio and Tucker Carlson, and the three were trying to concoct a story about Joe Biden having been born in another country. A reporter with Bedroom Pillow Talk asked him about...
Read full storyDonald Trump To Be Used As White House Toilet Brush From November
Leading Democratic Party politicians are saying that President Donald Trump is so incompetent, that, after he loses the election this November, they plan to keep him on at the White House in a newly-created role as a Human Toilet Brush. Trump has...
Read full storyTrump Family To Go Into Facemask Production
The Coronavirus, and the new threat of an even more damaging and deadly 'second wave', has given impetus to an idea that has been fomenting in President Donald Trump's ingenious mind for the past few weeks now - facemask production. Never one to l...
Read full storyJoe Biden operates from his Command Post deep under his parents' house.
Joe Biden is effectively leading the Democrat Party from his Top Secret underground Command Post Bunker. Tommy James, Joe's parents' next-door neighbors' son, helps keep Joe sharp in preparation for a tough campaign and the eventual leadership of...
Read full storyGovernor of California to change name from Newsom to “Nuisance”
Governor of California Gavin Newsom has decided a new name will do no harm in the continuing battle against the Covid-19 virus. “Call me an honorable nuisance, then, if you must,” he said in his office yesterday, according to an insider's report.
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