Russia Bounty Hunters Okay, But Peaceful Protesters No?
It’s an either-or proposition. Donald Trump was told, back in February of 2019, that Russia was paying bounty money to the Taliban to kill American soldiers in Afghanistan. There was even evidence of bank transfers moving cash from Russia to the…
Read full story'Wear Normal Shoes And Save The Planet' Rants Fort Lauderdale Man
Fort Lauderdale man, Frank Tunc, unleashed a vitriolic tirade of abuse on his Facebook page yesterday, demanding that friends, family and anyone else with access to his profile, stop wearing footwear that is damaging the planet. The post, which wa…
Read full storyESPY Awards 2020 - Worst Ratings Ever
LOS ANGELES - Critics agree, the 2020 sports season has produced an unmatched display of preening, vanity, and unbridled narcissism among ESPN teleprompter readers. As an awards show, there were a large number of athletic sports celebrities in (Virtu...
Read full storyMister Peanut Shelled By Protesters
BILLINGSGATE POST: The statue of Mr. Peanut, the 104-year old mascot of the Planters snack food company, has come down after being shelled by masked protesters. This was confirmed by Mrs. Peanuts and his only son, Goober. Planters made the announc...
Read full storyTrump University Releases Its Latest Presidential Poll
NEW YORK CITY – A spokesperson for Trump University has said that the prestigious university's latest presidential political poll is now out. And the school has confirmed that its owner and titular dean, President Trump, is as happy as Anderson Co…
Read full storyAunt Jemima’s Relatives Are Now Asking Quaker Oats For Reparations
HARLEM, New York - Willie Guy Washington and his cousin, Tatakeena Montrose, are asking the Quaker Oats company, which manufactures Aunt Jemima pancake mix, for $2.7 billion in reparations. Washington said that his great, great, great grandmother,…
Read full storyPack of black Russian wolves pee up Dutch slave trader's statue!
Recent, quite disturbing sightings of wolves roaming Dutch flatland territory has caused many Dutch bike riders, travelling to work in the early hours, to abandon their trusty two-wheelers and fat reducers for a safer four-wheel journey. Sightings…
Read full storyNBA Player Jerseys To Have Social Justice Statements in Place of The Players Names
NEW YORK CITY – The NBA, in an effort to focus on the plight of the Black Lives Matter movement, has decided to allow players to make up their own social justice statements. The phrases will go on the back of their jerseys, in place of their name.
Read full storyFarmers in Kansas are Reporting That Scarecrows are no Longer Scaring Crows
TOPEKA, Kansas – Several wheat farmers in the state of Kansas have informed the news media that they are discovering that their scarecrows are no longer doing the job of scaring crows. Wendell Woodbread, of Grain Gulch, Kansas, said that he has be…
Read full storyFlorida May Have To Close
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – The governor of Florida has just announced that the Coronavirus pandemic has become so widespread, and so out-of-control, that he is thinking about closing the entire state. Gov. Ron DeSantis, said that he blames himself for...
Read full storyPig Virus More Deadly Than Covid-19
A new virus with pandemic potential has been discovered by scientists in the home of deadly viruses, China. This virus, they say, originated in pigs. Oink oink. The new discovery comes hot on the trotters of the current Covid-19 pandemic, an...
Read full storyBlack Lives Matter Install George Clinton As President Of The Black USA
As tempers continued to fray at the weekend, there was a major development away from the rioting, when the Black Lives Matter organization officially declared the former Parliament and Funkadelic frontman, George Clinton, the President of the Black U…
Read full storyGeorge Clinton To Re-release 'Paint The White House Black'
George Clinton, the leader of P-Funk bands, Parliament and Funkadelic, who has been named as the President of the Black United States of America by the Black Lives Matter organization, is set to re-release his popular 1993 single, 'Paint The White Ho…
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