Farmers in Kansas are Reporting That Scarecrows are no Longer Scaring Crows

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 30 June 2020

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One Kansas wheat farmer says that he is going to try and get his money back for this worthless scarecrow.

TOPEKA, Kansas – Several wheat farmers in the state of Kansas have informed the news media that they are discovering that their scarecrows are no longer doing the job of scaring crows.

Wendell Woodbread, of Grain Gulch, Kansas, said that he has been a farmer for 43½ years, and he is shocked that his 9 scarecrows are virtually worthless.

Dr. Trudy Prinbiffin, a well-respected veterinarian from China, said that she has a theory that what is happening, is the crows, along with pigeons, sparrows, woodpeckers, and flamingos, have all just gotten a lot wiser during the past 3 to 4 years.

She noted that birds are not as stupid as farmers think they are. In fact, studies have shown that some birds are actually smarter than people, especially those who work in the carnival or in politics.

One farmer commented that he may end up having to make his mother-in-law stand out in his wheatfield during the daylight hours to scare the crows away.

That remark got back to his wife, and reportedly she has filed for divorce on grounds of Mama-in-Law Abuse, which is a legal reason in Kansas.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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