Washington Redskins Now Washington Dersniks: NFL Approval Imminent
BILLINGSGATE POST: Facing mounting pressure to change the franchise’s moniker, the Washington Redskins organization said Friday it will change its name to Washington Dersniks. The heat was turned up Thursday when FedEx — which has its brand on the…
Read full storyEven MORE Stuff from the Progressive Shoppers’ Mart – The Premier E-tailing Site for Enlightened Ideologues
You’ve demanded it, and here it is! We’ve been out scrounging around second-hand elitist boutiques, digging through Deep-State detritus dumps, and raiding the dustbins of those radical trendsetters whose stuff we know you crave. So, don’t delay! O…
Read full storyTrump’s Thug Language
Grammar schools are supposed to emphasize proper language and communicative skills. Still, judging from Donald Trump’s communicative skills or lack thereof, he either failed at this, or attended the Thug-Alley Stick Ball Grammar School in Queens.
Read full storyPiracy thrives during pandemic
Piracy of the high street has been the scourge of Britain for centuries, but has been dying out for many years. However, in 2020, it is making a comeback, thanks to the economic devastation and empty streets caused by coronavirus. Geoff Brownbeard...
Read full storyLocal Lightweight not looking forward to going out tomorrow night
Local bachelor, Stanley Bridgewater, is not looking forward to doing two of his least favourite things tomorrow: drinking in a pub, and talking to strangers in a pub. The lonely 47-year-old, who gets drunk on one pint of shandy, and has not got pa…
Read full storyJustin Bieber's Hair Defies Gravity, And His Tattoos Are Rubbish
It's been claimed by one music enthusiast that the hair of Canadian crooner, Justin Bieber, is not subject to gravity, and that the tattoos he has all the way up his arms, are absolutely shit. Bieber has an exceedingly strange hairstyle, which one…
Read full storyMan Was Embarrassed By Runny Nose
A man who had caught a mild seasonal cold has described how he became embarrassed by the way that his nose was so 'runny', that it resembled a leaky tap from which droplets of water were constantly dripping. Moys Kenwood, 57, first noticed that so...
Read full storyTrump Sends Aid To Help Bangladesh With Massive Floods: Entire World Population Faints
Donald Trump today had the equivalency of a stroke, only it came out as empathy in the form of an Executive Order. He authorized 33 billion dollars in relief aid to Bangladesh. He then ordered all nearby naval ships to assist in evacuating as many Ho…
Read full storyCouncillor told what dogging actually is
Mithering on the Trent councillor, Mark Oneybags, has revealed to us that he now knows what dogging is. After banning a local ukulele group from the park due to a complaint from a local dogging group, Mr Oneybags has been told through Twitter what…
Read full story‘Air bridges can be windy but they’re strong and stable’ claims anonymous Tory backbencher.
The post-Coronavirus tourist industry will use air bridges made from compressed air, and are primed and pumped, to float travelers abroad. ‘With thirty million compressed air jets pointing skyward from Gatwick to dozens of European destinations,…
Read full storyAs Leicester is plunged back into lockdown Matt Hancock said that the City has plunged before so it can plunge again but he’s confident Leicester folk are plunge resistant.
Due to the pernicious impact of previous outbreaks of Leicester’s cultural heritage, such as Showaddywaddy, Engelbert Humperdinck, and Gary Lineker, the Prime Minister has said: ‘We’ll have a ring of steel round the place in hours. We can’t let any o…
Read full storyJeffrey Epstein’s Girlfriend Ghislaine Maxwell Has Been Arrested – And The Rich and Famous are Shaking in Their Gucci Shoes
MANCHESTER, New Hampshire – One of the most evil women in history has just been arrested, and is now sitting in jail. Ghislaine Maxwell, (#6903517) who was the girlfriend of the most perverted pervert on Earth, Jeffrey Epstein, was arrested as she…
Read full storyComrade Putin Says That a Kremlin Poll Shows Comrade Trump Ahead of Joe Biden by 83 Points
MOSCOW – Word coming out of the Kremlin has put a great happy ‘bigly’ smile on President Trump’s face. A recent poll, that was actually taken inside the Kremlin, shows that Trump is ahead of Joe Biden by 83 percentage points. American poll expe…
Read full storyFlorida Sets The U.S. Record With 10,000 New Coronavirus Cases in Just One Day
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – The young folks in the Plywood State said that they needed to have their suntans, and now thousands of them have much more than just darker skin. The Sunshine State Federation of Doctors told Governor Ron DeSantis that he ne…
Read full storyAn 8-Year-Old Boy From Wyoming Can Kick a Football 65 Yards
CHEYENNE, Wyoming – Ever since little Timmy Nix was in his mother’s womb, she knew that he was going to be something special. Mrs. Nix said that she would be sitting on the sofa watching “The Young and the Restless”, and, all of a sudden, little T…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Calls Up Justin Bieber and Says She’s Got His Back
WEST HOLLYWOOD – Miley Cyrus, who recently came out, has called up her old lover, Justin Bieber, and told him that she feels for him due to the alleged sexual assault accusations he is facing. Cyrus told him that she has had her share of girls als…
Read full storyThe Houston Astros Vote To Wear a Message Statement on The Back of Their Baseball Shirts
HOUSTON – The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that the Houston Astros are desperately trying to curtail the criticism they are still receiving due to the so-called “Sign-Stealing Scandal”. Astros manager, Dusty Baker, said that they had a team mee…
Read full story