The post-Coronavirus tourist industry will use air bridges made from compressed air, and are primed and pumped, to float travelers abroad.
‘With thirty million compressed air jets pointing skyward from Gatwick to dozens of European destinations, we are confident we can build these air bridges,’ said Brenda O’Lox, from the Federation of Unified and Consolidated Compressed Air Companies (FUC-CAC).
The federation proudly demonstrated a scale model showing the ingenuity of British compressed air. Unfortunately, with their expertise limited to petrol forecourt air pumps and amusement arcade air hockey games, the compressed air prototype was a bit of a let-down. ‘Given time, we’ll get this off the ground. This isn’t all hot air,’ gasped a deflated O’Lox.
‘The FUC-CAC’s claims are blown up out of proportion,’ said Angel Elphinstone, of The Green Friends Against Compressed Air. ‘We favour reusing wind turbines once they’ve generated electricity. That electricity will then power the air bridges by turning the blades horizontally. It’s like recycling wind.’
‘Although we are open to green alternatives,’ said O’Lox, ‘we’ve noticed that 100% of travellers using air bridges powered by wind turbines, are chopped to pieces. We at FUC-CAC and our travel industry partners feel that could have an adverse impact on our business model.’