Man Was Embarrassed By Runny Nose

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 3 July 2020

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Drip, drip, drip

A man who had caught a mild seasonal cold has described how he became embarrassed by the way that his nose was so 'runny', that it resembled a leaky tap from which droplets of water were constantly dripping.

Moys Kenwood, 57, first noticed that something was amiss on Saturday, when he felt a bit clammy, and realized he had a higher temperature than normal.

By the time he went to bed that night, his throat already felt dry, and he suspected a cold was on its way.

Sunday morning brought an itchy cough, and sneezing, and not the sort of 'freestyle sneezing' that can be performed into the surrounding environment without a handkerchief. He armed himself with the correct equipment, and wiped and wiped and wiped.

And wiped.

By Monday, his nose was a veritable stream, streaming with 'nasal water'. As on Sunday, he used his handkerchief to mop his nose, but the cloth became so drenched, that he had to seek out a second one.

And a third.

The situation came to a head when, talking to his wife during their tea, his nose began dripping onto the table, and his meal. Kenwood said:

"It was a bit embarrassing, really. Before I could get me hankie out, water had dripped out of my beak onto me chips."

Mrs. Kenwood came to the rescue. She said:

"I fitted him out with an industrial-sized facemask, covered by a football scarf strapped around his bonce. It might still drip, but we won't see it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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