Justin Bieber's Hair Defies Gravity, And His Tattoos Are Rubbish

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 3 July 2020

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Bieber: what would Sir Isaac Newton have made of his hair?

It's been claimed by one music enthusiast that the hair of Canadian crooner, Justin Bieber, is not subject to gravity, and that the tattoos he has all the way up his arms, are absolutely shit.

Bieber has an exceedingly strange hairstyle, which one would probably not get away with working in a bank or a law firm, or in organizations such as the FBI or the CIA.

As a pop star, however, it seems to suffice.

Regardless of what one feels its merits may or not be, however, one man, Moys Kenwood, 57, was taken aback when he saw that Bieber's hair grows in the opposite direction to that of most other people - upwards.

He said:

"I keep getting shown that Hungama advert on TheSpoof.com with a picture of Bieber in it. His hair is daft. I don't care how good a singer he is, there's no need for hair like that. I ask you!"

Kenwood also said that the star's tattoos weren't very good, either, asserting that they are "utterly pointless", unless the point of them is to make a point about their utter pointlessness.

"They're neither one thing nor the other. I hate such stupid tattooery," he said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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