Man Was Awoken At 5am By Music At Neighbors' Wedding

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 29 July 2020

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A man whose neighbors are having a two-day wedding celebration for one of their daughters, has told of how he was rudely wrenched from his repose this morning, when unpleasant wailing music was blasted out of huge speakers at 5am.

Moys Kenwood, 57, was sleeping like a baby, at his home in Battambang, Cambodia, when loud cymbal crashes heralded the intro of a particularly rousing ditty which very nearly blew his covers off.

Mad wailing accompanied the wall of sound.

Kenwood said:

"One minute I was in dreamland, the next in hell. The contrast was that stark."

Khmer weddings are very long, and intrusive. Nobody living within 400 meters of a Khmer wedding is safe from its noise, and the celebrations are timed to, at least partially, coincide with normal hours of sleep, so that everyone's attention is grabbed, and nobody forgets to contribute.

Kenwood said, sarcastically:

"Oh yeah. I wish them a long and happy marriage."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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