Written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 15 March 2019

image for Man who suffers from Insomnia buys Dido's new album
Not this again, Gary

Gary Johnson, 48, who suffers from Insomnia after buying tickets for Jedward for his 30th wedding anniversary, has exclusively revealed to us that he has just indulged in Dido's latest release.

'I was on that Amazon type thing' said Johnson, as if he had discovered the internet for the first time 'and I saw that there were new albums from Samantha Mumba, Huey Lewis and The News, and Dido, so I bought all three of them. That will be my music buying for the next three years. I only ever bought albums from Woolworths back in the day, like, so I still have all of the albums by Shania Twain, Chris De Burgh and Ronan Keating.'

Carol, Gary's long-suffering wife, said 'As you can tell, the excitement never starts in this house.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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