Gary Johnson, 48, and the fictional subject of a few stories written by an equally fictional writer has insisted, that he really is not that interesting.
'The thing is,' said the fictional buffoon, 'I am completely fictional, but it does not mean that I like to be shown to be an idiot, all of these writers making me do things for comedy effect. I am not Mrs Brown - at least she gets paid for it.'
Johnson's equally fictional wife Carol said, 'I am not real, but if I were, I would like to think I would have done better than Gary.'