Written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 15 March 2019

image for Man Shocked that Woolworths has shut
Can I be on the show? Can I? Can I? I can. It is going to be so good. It is going to be so wonderful. Bigly.

Gary Johnson 48, is shocked to hear that Woolworths has been shut down for a decade.

The music fan revealed that although his music tastes are fairly broad and up-to-date, he last bought an album from a shop when Moby's Play album first came out.

'I always thought I supported the music industry with my one album purchased every year since the seventies, but it would appear that I am slightly now behind the times. Imagine my surprise when I was told that I couldn't buy my music from a shop these days like I used to. I mean I know that the old Woolworths shop was boarded up and covered in Grafitti, but I thought it was just due to work needing to be done, you know how slowly councils work these days, don't you?'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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