There were 545 spoof news stories published in October 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Why In The World Did "Hell On Wheels" Kill Off One Of Its Most Popular Characters?

Funny story: Why In The World Did "Hell On Wheels" Kill Off One Of Its Most Popular Characters?

HOLLYWOOD - Reports are that AMC has received tons of letters, emails, text messages, tweets, and phone calls asking what in the world the writers of the hit western Hell On Wheels were thinking when they killed off one of the shows most well-liked a...

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NASA Solves Mars Mystery: Leprechauns Left Gold Dust There!

Funny story: NASA Solves Mars Mystery: Leprechauns Left Gold Dust There!

When Mars rover Curiosity sent back images of soil with sparkling flecks in it, at first NASA scientists were stumped. But they kept on digging. Finally, they were able to explain those sparkles. The scientists came to the inescapable conclusion t...

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No Malarkey, Giant Eyeball Found on Florida Beach!

Funny story: No Malarkey, Giant Eyeball Found on Florida Beach!

Things will never be the same in Pompano Beach, Florida. Not since a giant blue eyeball was found on the beach there. No definite info yet as to how it got there or who owns it. As news of the eyeball spread, there were a variety of reactions. "I say it belongs to big brother," said a Florida teenager. "He's always watching, y'know." An older lady on the beach was sure the eyebal...

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Bitterly Fought Custody Battle Ends In Defeat For Father Resulting In Utter Despair

Funny story: Bitterly Fought Custody Battle Ends In Defeat For Father Resulting In Utter Despair

A bitterly fought and highly contested child custody case was finally resolved late yesterday afternoon after a Florida court ruled in favor of the mother of the two children involved in the dispute, resulting in the father obtaining full legal and p...

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My life as a man #22

Funny story: My life as a man #22

Keeping up with the English Jones' My neighbor, Gerry, the British guy who came here 23-years-ago, has a beautiful wife, a very nice home (that he keeps up like a palace), three wonderful adult children, and seven grandchildren. His two grown sons and his one adult daughter were all born in a coal-heated flat in the "South of London," wherever the hell that is. His two eldest grandchildren, a...

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Top 10 Signs the NYPD Is Controlled by the Mob

Funny story: Top 10 Signs the NYPD Is Controlled by the Mob

The New York City Police Department has been shooting up the town, mowing down tourists, blasting unarmed motorists and popping harmless potheads on a regular basis. Fearing a federal investigation of his police force's bad aim and nasty attitude, Mayor Michael Bloomberg has decided to "privatize" the NYPD. After a lengthy and thoughtful search, Bloomberg selected the Mafia as the most qualif...

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Lance Armstrong Named Yankees' New Cheating Coach

Funny story: Lance Armstrong Named Yankees' New Cheating Coach

New York -- Looking to bounce back from being swept in the American League playoffs, the New York Yankees have named former cycling scammer Lance Armstrong as their new cheating coach. "We managed just six runs in that four-game series," said Yank...

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Honey Boo Boo Asks Jay Leno, "Why Does Romney Hate Big Bird?"

Funny story: Honey Boo Boo Asks Jay Leno, "Why Does Romney Hate Big Bird?"

HOLLYWOOD - Little Honey Boo Boo has managed to knock Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, Nicki Minaj, and Paul "Skippy" Ryan all off the front page. The seven-year-old star of TLC's Here Comes Honey Boo Boo recently appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Le...

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NASCAR Strike Looming - Replacement Drivers Will Soon Be Interviewed

Funny story: NASCAR Strike Looming - Replacement Drivers Will Soon Be Interviewed

ATLANTA - Rumors of a looming strike by NASCAR race drivers are starting to spread like a swarm of locusts in Queensland, Australia. A union representative for the drivers Larkin "Pistons" Waxington, 29, stated that negotiations between NASCAR exe...

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Honey Boo Boo's Gay Uncle Poodle To Get His Own Reality Show

Funny story: Honey Boo Boo's Gay Uncle Poodle To Get His Own Reality Show

McINTYRE, Georgia - It had to happen sooner or later. The TLC reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo will be giving birth to a spinoff. According to a network spokesperson, the new show will feature the uncle of Honey Boo Boo, Marvin Lee Thompson.

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The Million Muppet March Scares Paul Ryan

Funny story: The Million Muppet March Scares Paul Ryan

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The organizers of The Million Muppet March say that the event is gaining momentum daily. Michael "Gonzo" Bellavia and Chris "Fozzie Bear" Mecham say that they decided to put the march together after hearing Mitt "The Flip Floppe...

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Presidential Debate Part Two - The Bar Brawl

Funny story: Presidential Debate Part Two - The Bar Brawl

Last night the second presidential debate took place at Hofstra University, Hempstead, New York. It didn't turn out as expected. Gone were the typical boring questions about the stagnating economy, failing foreign policy and tedious domestic is...

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Britney Spears Finally Reveals Why She Dumped Justin Timberlake

Funny story: Britney Spears Finally Reveals Why She Dumped Justin Timberlake

REDONDO BEACH - Britney Spears was having the Fee Fi Fo Fum Foo Foo Platter at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Diner when she noticed iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli sitting a few tables away. The X-Factor judge, who knows that Miss Vermicelli...

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In Homage to Felix Baungartner's Leap from Space, Local Man Jumps Off Upturned Bucket In Own Back Garden And Nobody Gives A Toss

Funny story: In Homage to Felix Baungartner's Leap from Space, Local Man Jumps Off Upturned Bucket In Own Back Garden And Nobody Gives A Toss

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, announced today that Felix Baumgartner wasn't the only man on the planet pushing himself to the limits of human endurance, as Shuttlecock himself became involved in pushing personal boundaries to the limit. As Felix...

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BBC Launch Probe Into Bruce Forsyth "False Chin" Allegations

Funny story: BBC Launch Probe Into Bruce Forsyth "False Chin" Allegations

Beleaguered BBC bosses were left reeling today after yet another scandal broke involving one of their biggest star turns. Already engulfed in controversy following the Jimmy Savile abuse scandal, BBC chiefs fear the corporation known as 'Auntie' m...

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Tim Tebow Officially Owns "Tebowing"

Funny story: Tim Tebow Officially Owns "Tebowing"

NEW YORK CITY - The backup quarterback for the New York Jets, Tim Tebow has just announced that he is now the sole owner of the world wide phenomenon that has become known as Tebowing. The 25-year-old football player registered his peaceful celebr...

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'Saville Inquiry' clue in Jill Dando cold case review

Funny story: 'Saville Inquiry' clue in Jill Dando cold case review

London - "Sounds as plausible a theory as any daft Red Top bollocks," a BBC 'deep throat' hinted today, "churned out ad nauseam since her death." Speaking in hushed tones at a secret Barking potting shed rendezvous the informer reckons the Britis...

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The Hell's Angels Are Voting For President Obama

Funny story: The Hell's Angels Are Voting For President Obama

VENICE BEACH - In a move that took the Mitt Romney political campaign team by surprise, the national chapter of The Hell's Angels Motorcycle Gang has stated that they will all be voting for President Obama. Hells Angels spokesperson Rufus "Spokes"...

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Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving and Christmas specials will air on TLC

Funny story: Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving and Christmas specials will air on TLC

ATLANTA (ABSNN) - Alana Thompson (Honey Boo Boo) and her mother June Shannon (Fat Demonic Hell Pig) are the stars of TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras. They visited a television station in Atlanta, the home of The Learning Channel, to discuss their upcoming...

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Nevada college course requires girls to masturbate

Funny story: Nevada college course requires girls to masturbate

FALON NV (ABSNN) - "The teacher said I had to masturbate to pass his class," said WNC sophomore, Imanice Gurl, a 19-year-old who lives with her mother. "Momma says it's wrong to play with myself. I really don't know how. I guess I learn, though,...

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A Nation Weeps As Hannity Threatens To Quit Fox News

Funny story: A Nation Weeps As Hannity Threatens To Quit Fox News

Fox News' very own conservative spewer of spin, Sean Hannity, has sensationally threatened to abandon the much loved "news" channel if Mitt Romney loses the presidential election. On his daily Romney campaign show, a seething Hannity told his wors...

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Paris Hilton Kissed A Girl And She Liked It

Funny story: Paris Hilton Kissed A Girl And She Liked It

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Paris Hilton, who is best noted for doing absolutely nothing, managed to crawl back into the headlines with some girl-on-girl antics at West Hollywood's Laughing Beaver Comedy Club. Hilton, 31, had gone to the club with her much y...

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VP Debate Sends A Nation To Sleep

Funny story: VP Debate Sends A Nation To Sleep

Rude, condescending, arrogant, always interrupting, unhinged and mean. No, Sean Hannity wasn't talking about himself. That was his description of Vice-President Joe Bidens performance last night at the one and only VP debate in Kentucky. The de...

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BBC Presenter from 60s and 70s Smeared

Funny story: BBC Presenter from 60s and 70s Smeared

A presenter from the BBC during the 60s and 70s has been smeared by the press for being the only one who didn't inappropriately touch people up during the time. Wally Hampstead worked at the BBC, on radio, and television - as well as with children -...

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Presidential Debate Part Three - Romney The Musical

Funny story: Presidential Debate Part Three - Romney The Musical

The third and final Presidential debate took place last night at Lynn University, Boca Raton, Florida. With CBS old timer Bob Schieffer at the helm it promised to be another lively debate. However, it was a strange statement made by Governor Mi...

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Mitt Romney Says He Hates His New Nickname

Funny story: Mitt Romney Says He Hates His New Nickname

RALEIGH, North Carolina - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Bus Tour stopped off in Raleigh on the way to Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He told the semi-cheering crowd that he was thrilled to be in Raleigh, the town where the inventor o...

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Dominatrix in Frankfurt, Germany, claims world whipping record!

Funny story: Dominatrix in Frankfurt, Germany, claims world whipping record!

An infamous ageing Dominatrix in Frankfurt, Germany, has been entered into the Guiness book of records after beating the world's whipping record by fifty lashes and then she dropped dead! The previous record was 500000 lashes in 5 days held by US...

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The Devil Flames the Obama/Romney Race

Funny story: The Devil Flames the Obama/Romney Race

Washington, DC -- In an historic first, the Devil has declined to throw his support behind either candidate for US President, declaring that both contenders "are hell-bent on creating chaos without any help from me." "That makes it impossible to c...

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Cannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions

Funny story: Cannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions

New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg made the Big Apple less appetizing to the city's cannibal community today, introducing a new Health Department regulation that limits flesh eating to "one pound per person per day." The restriction came on the he...

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Susan Boyle livid at news of Jimmy Savile

Funny story: Susan Boyle livid at news of Jimmy Savile

Popular singing sensation and "Britain's Got Premium Rate Phone Lines" runner-up Susan Boyle (known as SuBo to her friends or "Mad Scottish Woman" to her detractors), has thrown her weight - thought to be approaching 14 stone - into the foray regardi...

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Eagles Quarterback Michael Vick Says That His New Dog Is Really Only Half Dog

Funny story: Eagles Quarterback Michael Vick Says That His New Dog Is Really Only Half Dog

PHILADELPHIA - Quarterback Michael Vick's team, the Philadelphia Eagles, is currently sitting on top of the NFL's NFC Eastern Conference with a 3-2 record. And it appears that, as usually happens with people who get in trouble, Old Mother Trouble...

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Honey Boo Gets Into It With Ellen DeGeneres

Funny story: Honey Boo Gets Into It With Ellen DeGeneres

HOLLYWOOD - The star of TLCs Here Comes Honey Boo, Alana Thompson recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. The little seven-year-old in four-inch heels demonstrated to Ellen the way that she walks during her beauty pageant competitions. E...

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Val Chmerkovskiy and Kelly Monaco of Dancing With The Stars: The Va Va Voom Rumors

Funny story: Val Chmerkovskiy and Kelly Monaco of Dancing With The Stars: The Va Va Voom Rumors

HOLLYWOOD - Members of the entertainment media have been speculating since the start of this season's Dancing With The Stars: The All-Stars, that professional dancer Val Chmerkovskiy and General Hospital actress Kelly Monaco could be more than simply...

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Sir Jimmy Savile to be tried from beyond the grave

Funny story: Sir Jimmy Savile to be tried from beyond the grave

Prime Minister David Cameron will address the Conservative Party Conference next week with news of an announcement designed to increase their popularity by at least 15% - the dead corpse of Sir Jim'll Savile will be dug up and tried in a court of law...

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NASA Wanted To Keep The Mars Rover Road Kill Incident A Top Secret

Funny story: NASA Wanted To Keep The Mars Rover Road Kill Incident A Top Secret

HOUSTON - In an effort to avoid any adverse publicity NASA has sent out an in-house memo that the facts concerning Mars Rover Incident #717, were to be kept extremely confidential. The author of the memorandum, who has since been identified as Bri...

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Lindsay Lohan Blames All Her Troubles On Her Freckles

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Blames All Her Troubles On Her Freckles

VENICE BEACH - Lindsay "Lucky" Lohan was sitting by herself in a private booth at the trendy Fountain of Youth Lounge in Venice Beach. One of the waiters said that he overheard her talking on the phone to her ex-girlfriend and one time fianceƩ Sam...

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Big Tex Catches Fire and Burns - Romney Blames President Obama

Funny story: Big Tex Catches Fire and Burns - Romney Blames President Obama

DALLAS - Big Tex, the legendary 52-foot tall statue at The State Fair of Texas for 60 years, caught fire and completely burned. The Lone Star State icon with the 75-gallon hat first appeared at the State Fair Park back in 1952. Big Tex was purc...

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Bonnie & Clyde's Personal Belongings Are Auctioned Off

Funny story: Bonnie & Clyde's Personal Belongings Are Auctioned Off

NASHUA, New Hampshire - Two of the most notorious outlaws of the Great Depression Era were Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. The two Texas natives wreaked havoc and terror across the Great Southwest by robbing banks, savings & loans, Piggly Wigg...

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New York hurricane 'named after bent ex-Clinton National Security Advisor Sandy Berger'

Funny story: New York hurricane 'named after bent ex-Clinton National Security Advisor Sandy Berger'

New York - "Someone at the US National Hurricane Center sure has a bizarre sense of humor," is how one New Yorker put it today as the year's worst super-storm barreled up the Eastern Seaboard. Hurricane Sandy is thought to be named after former C...

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Pakistan Ends Its Traditional Elephant Races

Funny story: Pakistan Ends Its Traditional Elephant Races

KARACHI, Pakistan - Word out of Pakistan is that the Pakistani government has decided to put an end to the very popular traditional Karachi Elephant Races which have been held every weekend since 1968. The mayor of the city known as "The City of E...

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Meat Loaf Endorses Romney - T-Bone Endorses Obama

Funny story: Meat Loaf Endorses Romney - T-Bone Endorses Obama

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Singer Meat Loaf was sitting in his backstage dressing room after having just finished performing in The Box of Snowballs Auditorium before a crowd estimated to be around 219 people. The rotund singer had just taken his thir...

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Strategic Cannabis Reserve mooted for drought-hit California

Funny story: Strategic Cannabis Reserve mooted for drought-hit California

Los Angeles - Dwindling bud supplies have virtually dried up in parts of California prompting calls for the creation of a state-wide Strategic Cannabis Reserve modeled on Big Oil's Gulf of Mexico emergency storage facilities. The proposal has the...

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Hurricane Sandy Causes The Presidential Election To Be Postponed To December 4

Funny story: Hurricane Sandy Causes The Presidential Election To Be Postponed To December 4

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Representatives for both President Barack Obama and former Governor Mitt Romney have met and have agreed to postpone the presidential election from November 6, to December 4. Both Obama and Romney agreed to the change which was...

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Hollywood's Shortest Couple Is Divorcing

Funny story: Hollywood's Shortest Couple Is Divorcing

LOS ANGELES - In an astounding announcement a spokesperson for Danny DeVito has stated that he and his wife Rhea Perlman will be heading for the big "D" (divorce). DeVito, 67, who became popular for his role of Louie De Palma on the sit-com Taxi a...

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Led Zeppelin's Brand New Album

Funny story: Led Zeppelin's Brand New Album

Led Zeppelin was first formed in 1968, 44 years ago. The band has just released their latest album which is titled Just Blimpin' Along. The album title was thought up by Jimmy Page. Just Blimpin' Along was recorded on the Vinyl Record Recording Label at the prestigious San Andreas Fault Recording Studios located in Tarzana, California. The band's lead singer Robert Plant, 64, said that all...

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Michigan To Begin Issuing Fines To Undecided Voters

Funny story: Michigan To Begin Issuing Fines To Undecided Voters

LANSING, Michigan - Governor Rick Snyder speaking from his Governor's Mansion, Ethanol Estates, has just issued a governor's directive. The governor has said that he is sick and tired of hearing about all of these so called undecided voters. He...

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Hulk Hogan's Young Wife Very Upset About The Sex Tape

Funny story: Hulk Hogan's Young Wife Very Upset About The Sex Tape

CHICAGO - One of the world's most famous wrestlers Hulk Hogan was in the Windy City on a book signing tour. The man whose real name is Terry Bollea was signing his brand new book at The Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover Book Store. Hogan's latest...

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Savile Row to be renamed Tailor Street

Funny story: Savile Row to be renamed Tailor Street

One of London's poshest streets, Savile Row, is to be renamed to Tailor Street in a bid to distance itself from Jimmy Savile. "We don't know for certain just what Jimmy Savile has done or not done," said Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, who is orga...

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Republicans Find God, Win Epic Game of Hide and Seek

Funny story: Republicans Find God, Win Epic Game of Hide and Seek

Senator Chris Coons' office has sent out a short brief detailing how the Congressman has finally found God, and put an end to a millennia-long game of hide and seek. Asked to comment about his Earth-shaking discovery, Senator Coons had this to say...

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"Everything Is A Liberal Conspiracy" Claims Sean Hannity

Funny story: "Everything Is A Liberal Conspiracy" Claims Sean Hannity

The most fair and balanced person on Fox News has delivered an astonishing verbal volley towards the mainstream media and liberal pollsters. In his latest rant on his daily conservative propaganda juggernaut, Sean "Fairness Personified" Hannity, r...

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Tom Brady 'Admires' Peyton Manning

Tom Brady took an interesting approach to the 'old man' of the game, Peyton Manning. Like some fawning rookie just starting to play in the NFL, Tom took the high road to deliver a low blow. When asked what he thought about Peyton Manning, Brady r...

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Hannity Issues Apology To Romney/Ryan

Funny story: Hannity Issues Apology To Romney/Ryan

Fox News' most prominent spinning machine, Sean Hannity, astounded his worshippers last night when he issued a grovelling apology on his daily propaganda juggernaut. The apology? No, it wasn't for his concerted efforts to smear President Obama...

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Studio Goes On The Offensive: "Our Prinzzess is NOT Latino, No Offense To Our Housekeeping Staff."

Funny story: Studio Goes On The Offensive: "Our Prinzzess is NOT Latino, No Offense To Our Housekeeping Staff."

A young upstart animation studio whose first full-length feature is set to release Friday is going on the offensive, fighting back against charges that their Princess is Latina. In an early morning press release, Prinzzess Studiozz explains that...

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My life as a man #20

Funny story: My life as a man #20

Today is the worst day of the rest of my life. Yes, I know, it is supposed to be the first day of the rest of my life-at least according to the aficionados of fortune cookie philosophy. But not for me; I know I hit my romantic peak years ago. It's been all downhill since then. You see, I let the BIG ONE go. She was exceptionally beautiful and unique. I knew her to be my singular chan...

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The U.S. Post Office Is Having To Resort To Nudity

Funny story: The U.S. Post Office Is Having To Resort To Nudity

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Postal Service has found itself in the worse financial situation in history. According to official U.S. Government data reports, the USPS lost an amazingly unbelievable total of $5.2 billion during the third qu...

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A Londoner's guide to Yorkshire

Funny story: A Londoner's guide to Yorkshire

With decentralization many people from London are finding themselves in strange primitive parts. One of the most frightening is Yorkshire. Yorkshire folk are very tribal and don't take to strangers. They especially dislike people from Lancashire and Wales. Although they can tolerate people from London they are not always friendly. Yorkshire folk speak in the Genitive tense all of the time.

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Beeb's 7/7 London bombings documentary blames 'Asian IRA'

Funny story: Beeb's 7/7 London bombings documentary blames 'Asian IRA'

London - "It's a feelthy lie, begorrah," Real IRA commander Osama Bin Life-O'Riely said today ahead of the Beeb broadcast at 9pm. "Provisional Al Qaeda bastards is them what done it because of a trick or treaty dare from George W Bush." The do...

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Paranoia that Obama 'will allow homeless people unfettered access to private Manhattan roof gardens'

Funny story: Paranoia that Obama 'will allow homeless people unfettered access to private Manhattan roof gardens'

New York - Lawyers in a probate case before the New York courts have reported fears that the President's 'open door' policy towards vagrants, nomadics and other itinerant undesirables could blight Fifth Avenue's multi-million dollar condominiums.

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Harry Reid 'was top student' in crash course at Kerry Kennedy School of Advanced Driving Skills

Funny story: Harry Reid 'was top student' in crash course at Kerry Kennedy School of Advanced Driving Skills

Los Angeles - The fast track program in motoring skills saw Nevada Senator Harry Reid graduate magna cum laude to take the School's Top Gun prize aides said today. Reports this morning claim the course 'may have saved his life' following a multi-c...

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Maine Zumba Prostitution Scandal an 'Illuminati Plot!'

Funny story: Maine Zumba Prostitution Scandal an 'Illuminati Plot!'

KENNEBUNK, Maine (ABSNN) - 129,277 men in this tony seaside town (all apparently Democrats) on the Maine coast have been named as "Johns" in the Zumba Prostitution scandal. Their names, but no other identifying data, were released by order of the ju...

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Opus Dei procured Jimmy Savile's papal gong

Funny story: Opus Dei procured Jimmy Savile's papal gong

London - "Just don't ask about 'what lubricants'?" a former Opus Dei zombie commented as news broke that the shadowy self-flagellation cult greased the palms that gonged up old perv Jimmy with a Pontifical Equestrian Order of St Gregory the Great kn...

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Man sues Louis Vuitton after finding brown stripes in his $200 underpants!

After buying a pair of Louis Vuitton underpants in the LV boutique on Sunset Boulevard for $250,00 dollars and wearing them only once, he discovered that there were several brown stripes in them. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, but has be...

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Jimmy Savile sponsored a transvestite website

Funny story: Jimmy Savile sponsored a transvestite website

News has emerged that a proportion of the charity funds raised by the not-Sir Jimmy Savile not-OBE, was siphoned off to fund a transvestite website called TV-Chix, where cross dressing men would arrange meetings for sex. "This is one more nail in...

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Dante's Circles of Hell to Be Augmented - Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) develops initiative for Republican Party platform

Funny story: Dante's Circles of Hell to Be Augmented - Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) develops initiative for Republican Party platform

Special to TNP - At his daily news conference, Reince Priebus, chairman of the Republican National Committee (RNC), claimed that "a new version of Dante's Inferno is necessary to ensure the long-term health of the country. In fact, I anticipate that...

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Scientists prepare to defend Earth from an impending meteor

Funny story: Scientists prepare to defend Earth from an impending meteor

Asteroid LO0R011 was identified early on Monday morning by the NASA Asteroid Detection Agency (NADA). It's orbit has been calculated to have it land somewhere near Beijing with enough force to wipe out all life on earth except for a cockroach living...

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'Evil' Bert goes after Romney

Funny story: 'Evil' Bert goes after Romney

Bert from Sesame Street has gone to ground after vowing to kill Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. Bert was watching the first presidential debate on The Count's TV with several other residents of the street but flew into a rage when Romn...

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Swiss Bank Discovers Cause of Global Recession

Funny story: Swiss Bank Discovers Cause of Global Recession

Industry spectators are heralding the end of the current economic recession due to a startling discovery made in the vaults of the prestigious Union Bank in Switzerland; namely, bonds, stocks, gold bullion and cash currencies to the value of CHF 6 tr...

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My life as a man #18

Funny story: My life as a man #18

Love/Hate relationships I have mixed feelings about my feathered "friends." On the one hand, I spend over a thousand dollars a year on feeding, housing, and bathing songbirds, hummers, owls, hawks, waders, and, yes, vultures too. I love watching birds throughout the year. Not only has my knowledge grown to the point where I can identify them by breed, but truly, I know some of them, indi...

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Casey Anthony & Nancy Grace sued for $3 billion in Illuminati plot

Funny story: Casey Anthony & Nancy Grace sued for $3 billion in Illuminati plot

ORLANDO, Florida (ABSNN) - Casey Anthony, the Most Hated Woman in America, was acquitted in the murder of her child Caylee who died more than three years ago. Her legal trouble has not ended, not by a long shot. She is still in the middle of a laws...

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Taylor Swift arrested for Mann Act violations concerning Conor Kennedy

Funny story: Taylor Swift arrested for Mann Act violations concerning Conor Kennedy

HYANNIS PORT MA (ABSNN) - Taylor Swift, 22, was indicted this morning by a federal grand jury for violating the Mann Act, after admitting that she drove Conor Kennedy, then 17-years-old, across state lines and the two "engaged in heavy petting, but only outside my tee shirt." "The Grand Jury had two federal crimes from which to choose to indict, Ms. Taylor," said assistant US Attorney William J...

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Isle of Wight News - Scab collection stolen

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Scab collection stolen

Kenneth Dunston has been left distraught following the theft of his scab collection. Dunstan, 52 from Ryde on the Isle of Wight, discovered the theft on Sunday morning when he returned from the Ryde twenty-four hour bowls marathon. "It's terri...

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Cher and Madonna's Amazing Concert Tour

Funny story: Cher and Madonna's Amazing Concert Tour

LOS ANGELES - Plans have just been finalized for the much anticipated concert tour featuring famous one name singing icons Cher, 66, and Madonna, 53. Relic Productions in association with Simon Cowell's Black T-Shirt Production Company have just a...

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Jimmy Savile's Grave 'Subsiding' - Scarborough Council

Funny story: Jimmy Savile's Grave 'Subsiding' - Scarborough Council

Scarborough Borough Council today issued a statement to the effect that the late Jimmy Savile's grave has recently "substantially subsided." The furore raised by recent allegations against the former BBC disc jockey and TV presenter has been parti...

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British tourist arrested for theft of penis pump from Dallas sex shop

Funny story: British tourist arrested for theft of penis pump from Dallas sex shop

DALLAS, TEXAS (ABSNN) - The masked, knife wielding robber who stole $500 in cash and a $150 penis pump from a Dallas adult video store today was apprehended only four hours later at Parkland Memorial Hospital according to the DPD. "We got a ph...

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Bookies' odds on Jimmy Savile case - place bets now!

Funny story: Bookies' odds on Jimmy Savile case - place bets now!

Bookmakers throughout Britain have opened a book on the investigation into the Jimmy Savile affair. They are offering odds on the following. (1) Investigation will plod along until the media are ordered from on high to dumb it down out of existence and to "pursue it no further" blah, blah, blah and it simply disappears as the public are lulled back into televisual narcosis. 3/1 (2) Invest...

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Hillary Clinton Offers Monica Lewinsky $12 Million To NOT Write Book

Funny story: Hillary Clinton Offers Monica Lewinsky $12 Million To NOT Write Book

BILLINGSGATE POST - It was reported by both The New York Post and The Washington Post that Monica Lewinsky is set to pocket a quick 12 million for her heart warming story about Slick Willy's penchant for sex toys, menage-a-trois, vaginal cigar probes...

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Bedford OAP's cannabis operation "blown" wide open!

Funny story: Bedford OAP's cannabis operation "blown" wide open!

Smokey Bedford, UK: An OAP couple who supposedly purchased a cannabis plant thinking that it was a daisy plant have been arrested after "kicking up" too much business selling the leaves of their "daisy" plant. The plant just grew and grew and the...

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The Madonna - Russell Crowe Feud Gets Ugly

Funny story: The Madonna - Russell Crowe Feud Gets Ugly

NEW YORK CITY - There is no one in the World of Celebrities who loves to get into angry arguments, bitter clashes, venom-spewing squabbles, and antagonistic altercations more than Madonna. For some strange reason known only to her, the 54-year-old...

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World Ends!!! - Planet Earth destroyed in cosmic blast

Funny story: World Ends!!! - Planet Earth destroyed in cosmic blast

New York - In an emergency appearance today before the United Nations, a team of international scientists reported that the world has ended. The stunning announcement came during a special session of the UN Security Council, during which scientists f...

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Tennessee woman lives according to Bible for one year--and is pissed about it!

Funny story: Tennessee woman lives according to Bible for one year--and is pissed about it!

DAYTON, Tennessee (ABSNN) - A female Dayton blogger, Rachel Held Evans, lived an entire year according to the rules laid out in the King James Version of the Bible. Among other biblical tenants she followed, she addressed her husband as "Master," an...

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Nottingham man arrested at Nottingham Lidl for laughing out too loud!

Funny story: Nottingham man arrested at Nottingham Lidl for laughing out too loud!

Nottingham, UK: In a bizarre incident today an ageing gentleman was arrested at the German supermarket, Lidl, in Nottingham. It seems he was acting like a loony and could not contain himself whilst laughing his bald head off very loudly! Other Eng...

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Tycoon to reveal ID of the 'first Mrs Barack Obama'

Funny story: Tycoon to reveal ID of the 'first Mrs Barack Obama'

New York - "She wasn't American, she wasn't a Democrat and she definitely wasn't black," Southern pork bellies billionaire Aaron 'Rusty' Hogsniffer III announced today ahead of Wednesday's scheduled shock TV press conference. "But at least she was...

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Ron Jeremy and Pamela Anderson To Star In The X-Rated "Binders Full of Women"

Funny story: Ron Jeremy and Pamela Anderson To Star In The X-Rated "Binders Full of Women"

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Mountain Peak Pictures in association with Gladiator Films has just announced that filming will soon start on the new Staccato Monteverdi political porn film Binders Full of Women. Monteverdi told Pomona Vox with Silver Screen Sho...

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Master Baiter Catches Big Fish

Funny story: Master Baiter Catches Big Fish

Toledo, OH - At the end of a long day on Toledo Bend Lake with very little luck, master baiter Sam Bigton finally caught the winning fish of the day at the annual statewide competition. After three hours of struggling with a 36" Black Bass, he won th...

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The most horrible sound in the world.

Funny story: The most horrible sound in the world.

British scientists have spent three years determining the most horrible sound in the world. The surprising result is that it is a sound which is heard more and more over recent years. The sound of politicians voices. "It was a surprising result.

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Zombies for Romney claims Florida group

Funny story: Zombies for Romney claims Florida group

OCALA, Florida (ABSNN) - The National Chapter of Zombies USA, or ZUSA, overwhelmingly endorsed Mitt Romney for President today. According to ZUSA officials "our membership voted 6710 to 47 in favor endorsing Mitt Romney over Barack Obama in the upco...

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Twitter bans German Nazis in Germany: Herr Hitler was a huge "twit" too!

Funny story: Twitter bans German Nazis in Germany: Herr Hitler was a huge "twit" too!

Twitter have bowed to the requests of the German government and banned German Nazis from being enormous "Twits" on the German Twitter site. As for the rest of the world they can continue "twitting" their evil messages with impunity. A spokesman fo...

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Kim Kardashian's Future Husbands

Funny story: Kim Kardashian's Future Husbands

OSAKA, Japan - One of the greatest computer scientists in the world, Fushiko Takayaka, has just developed a computer that can look into the future. The computer which was developed in Osaka, Japan and named the FT-13001, has the capability of tak...

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Britney Spears Jealous of Simon Cowell's New Girlfriend

Funny story: Britney Spears Jealous of Simon Cowell's New Girlfriend

LOS ANGELES - It is no secret in the inner circles of X-Factor that Simon "The Count of Cruelty" Cowell and Britney "Oopsies" Spears have had quite a fondness for each other. In fact a close, inside, unnamed source recently told iRumors that the r...

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X-Factor's Demi Lovato Says Britney Spears Cries More Than Nicole Scherzinger

Funny story: X-Factor's Demi Lovato Says Britney Spears Cries More Than Nicole Scherzinger

LOS ANGELES - The X-Factor season has not had as much drama, fireworks, and physical threats as its counterpart American Idol. Simon Cowell, alias The Count of Criticism, told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that there is no way that he wo...

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Maria Shriver Writes Book About Arnold Schwarzenegger

Funny story: Maria Shriver Writes Book About Arnold Schwarzenegger

BRENTWOOD, California - Maria Shriver is still extremely upset at the fact that her soon-to-be-ex-husband Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child out of wedlock with their long time housekeeper. Maria, whose mother Eunice is a Massachusetts Kennedy...

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Disney buy Lucasfilm

Funny story: Disney buy Lucasfilm

Disney have bought Lucasfilm from founder George Lucas for $4.2bn. The firm is most famous for producing the 'Stars Wars' films as well as providing special effects for other companies. Disney are to produce two more 'Star Wars' over the next 18 m...

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Bad news for sons-in-law: women who quit smoking by age 50 can live up to a decade longer

Funny story: Bad news for sons-in-law: women who quit smoking by age 50 can live up to a decade longer

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released this week a study which son-in-laws everywhere will have a hard time swallowing. Women who quit smoking by the age of 50 dramatically cut risk of an early death, enjoying up to ten to fifteen more year...

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Cameron squirms at PMQ 'paedo ring at Number 10' claim

Funny story: Cameron squirms at PMQ 'paedo ring at Number 10' claim

London - A Labour MP has stirred up the Jimmy Savile whornets nest with a crafty question about 'a paedophile ring' inside the government's seat of power at No 10. West Bromwich East MP Tom Watson stunned the House by asking for a review of police...

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Third Secret of Fatima: Queen will sleepwalk her way to oblivion this weekend

Funny story: Third Secret of Fatima: Queen will sleepwalk her way to oblivion this weekend

Windsor - "Must have been another one of her nocturnal emissions," Windsor Castle groundsmen said today as they changed the locks on the Royal Mausoleum. "Still, that's the power of prophecy for you, gotta be worth a tenner that she's about to po...

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Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder and The Breakup Rumblings

Funny story: Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder and The Breakup Rumblings

KALAMAZOO, Michigan - One of Tinsel Town's happiest couples is Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder who star in The Vampire Diaries. The couple is on location in Kalamazoo, where they are presently filming the motion picture Fifty Shades of Gray. Th...

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Heidi Klum's New Show - "Project: I'm Looking For A New Husband"

SANTA MONICA - The host of the top rated reality show Project Runway, Heidi Klum, has just revealed that she has signed to appear on yet another reality show. The 39-year-old German model who has graced the cover of a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit I...

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Taylor Swift Says That One Day She'll Be The First Lady

Funny story: Taylor Swift Says That One Day She'll Be The First Lady

HYANNIS PORT, Massachusetts - Taylor Swift has said that she is in Fairytale Land with her relationship with Conor Kennedy, grandson of Senator Robert F. Kennedy. The country singer who has sold over 22 million albums, including 173,691 in Egypt r...

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Nike and Lance Armstrong get divorced after Franco-German revelations!

Funny story: Nike and Lance Armstrong get divorced after Franco-German revelations!

Sport clothing giant Nike has decided to get divorced from it's former super-hero, Lance Armstrong. The relationship had become slightly strained after it was revealed that Lance really preferred wearing Adidas tight cycling pants instead because the...

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Doc Rivers Says 'Boo' to Scare Ray Allen

Doc Rivers of the Boston Celtics dishes out the ball like Rajon Rondo. He ignores Ray Allen. When the late Celtic #20 took his disparaging comments to a Boston media maven named Jackie MacMullen and ranked the Celtics as purely rank, they were fig...

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