Susan Boyle livid at news of Jimmy Savile

Written by Steddyeddy

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

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Popular singing sensation and "Britain's Got Premium Rate Phone Lines" runner-up Susan Boyle (known as SuBo to her friends or "Mad Scottish Woman" to her detractors), has thrown her weight - thought to be approaching 14 stone - into the foray regarding the potential naughty acts of the late Sir or may-not-be-Sir-for-too-much-longer Jimmy Savile.

In a tersely worded press release, read out in a terse manner to a group of journalists gathered at a terse press briefing, an equally terse Ms Boyle said how utterly disappointed she was at the allegations that have surfaced about Sir Jimmy and his alleged Garyglittarian attitude to young, teenage girls.

She went on to say (still a bit terse) that she appeared on Jim'll Fix it in the 1970's where she was hoping he might fix it for her to become a professional wrestler. However, during and after the recording of the television show, Miss Boyle said that at no time did Sir Jimmy make any move whatsoever to adjust her dress, blouse or support stockings or even to propose marriage.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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