VP Debate Sends A Nation To Sleep

Funny story written by Simon Saunders

Friday, 12 October 2012

image for VP Debate Sends A Nation To Sleep
Vice President Biden stopped off before the debate to gorge himself of some chicken that was fried in Kentucky

Rude, condescending, arrogant, always interrupting, unhinged and mean.

No, Sean Hannity wasn't talking about himself. That was his description of Vice-President Joe Bidens performance last night at the one and only VP debate in Kentucky.

The debate itself was a fairly even affair with Biden showing his usual passion and straight talking while Paul Ryan was unable to really explain his talking points because the electorate are too stupid to understand the complexity of his economic calculations.

The two candidates traded some powerpuff blows during what was essentially a pointless hour and a half of our lives that we'll never get back.

Congressman Ryan displayed all the charisma of a damp rag, one of the many traits he shares with his running mate, and appeared as if he had been programmed by a very dull I.T geek. Many feel that Ryan is the sort of guy who works well in the back office crunching numbers but isn't allowed to deal with customers in case he malfunctions on the shop floor.

However, there was some excitement shortly before the debate when Ryan did indeed suffer a malfunction after a member of his campaign team spilled a mug of coffee on him. Fortunately he was okay after he was switched off then back on again.

After the debate, Fox News' doyen of distortion Sean Hannity gave his usual balanced analysis.

Once he had stopped clapping Ryan in a demented fashion, he wiped away a tear before turning to the camera to announce, "Ryan looked particularly buff tonight. I reckon he has been pumping some extra iron to prepare for this debate with that crusty old timer Joe Biden. He was as handsome as ever and his hair looked stunning. I reckon he won the debate by about 90 to 10."

Hannity briefly paused while he experienced a Ryan induced thrill up his leg before asking his guest Sarah Palin what she thought of the debate.

Speaking in a childish kindergarten teachers voice while putting on that face she does when she thinks she's said something clever, she told Hannity, "I can see Russia from my back yard."

That sort of in depth analysis Palin provides makes her a certainty to be President one day.

She then waffled on for several minutes without saying anything meaningful and even Hannity appeared bored and puzzled by Palins nonsensical chatter.

Earlier in the evening Palin appeared on the O'Reilly Factor declaring that she had enjoyed her VP debate in 2008 and claimed that she has some "hilarious antidotes" about her campaign in her book 'Going Rogue.'

I think you mean anecdotes Governor Palin.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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