Written by Simon Saunders

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

image for Presidential Debate Part Three - Romney The Musical
Romney ended the night playing one of these. Except his was invisible.

The third and final Presidential debate took place last night at Lynn University, Boca Raton, Florida.

With CBS old timer Bob Schieffer at the helm it promised to be another lively debate.

However, it was a strange statement made by Governor Mitt Romney that is sure to dominate the headlines today.

When asked about the differences between himself and the incumbent president on foreign policy issues, for some reason he used Bruce Springsteen songs at various points in his response to illustrate his point.

Governor Romney, wearing his 'Bibi Netanyahu is my BFF' t-shirt, said, "Back in 2008 Mr Obama campaigned on the 'Hope and Change' mantra. It is now apparent that this was some sort of Brilliant Disguise. Unfortunately our President has proven that he was Born To Run when it comes to foreign affairs. I believe that had the president been Born In The USA, like me, then he would be more inclined to Take Care Of Our Own. In the Badlands of the Middle East the president hasn't shown a Hungry Heart when it comes to supporting our best friend forever, Israel. He hasn't been tough on our enemies, in fact he's gone around apologising for America. I will be tougher, Tougher Than The Rest. Yes, the president oversaw the death of Bin Laden, a Dead Man Walking, but he's Missing when it comes to the Benghazi terrorist attack."

Romney paused at this point and went backstage for a costume change. He reappeared on stage wearing a bandana, white t-shirt, tight blue jeans and blowing tunelessly on a Springsteen endorsed mouth organ.

He continued, "Now I'm not advocating the use of a Wrecking Ball on our foreign enemies or becoming embroiled in another War but we have to be stronger by imposing more sanctions on the likes of Iran and our number one enemy, the Soviet Union. The president has been Dancing In The Dark all on his own for four years. As a result our position in the world is weaker now than when he took office. I can return us to the Glory Days when we were respected around the world. Should we Fade Away into the shadows or take a step towards The Promised Land of peace and friendship. I know which one I believe is best for this country."

As he finished his oddball response the camera's panned across to a stunned and open mouthed President Obama.

Moderator Bob Schieffer brought an immediate end to the debate some one hour and twenty minutes early before appealing for a doctor to sedate the now air guitar playing Governor Romney after his disturbing comments.

Meanwhile Fox News' resident madman, Sean Hannity, described Mitt Romney's performance as "outstanding, presidential and generally brilliant." He then added that if anyone needed sedating after the debate it was "left wing radical" Bob Schieffer and his "Obama loving mainstream media cohorts."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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