Bitterly Fought Custody Battle Ends In Defeat For Father Resulting In Utter Despair

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Monday, 29 October 2012


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A Real Burden Sometimes

A bitterly fought and highly contested child custody case was finally resolved late yesterday afternoon after a Florida court ruled in favor of the mother of the two children involved in the dispute, resulting in the father obtaining full legal and physical custody of his 8 and 12 year old daughters.

"That's it then" said 39 year old Michael McCauley of Palm Beach County "Basically my life is now over. I have been fighting for years to ensure that my kids stay with their mother, the last thing I wanted was custody. Great. Fantastic. I will have to trade in my sports car for a freakin' people carrier. I can forget sleeping in every weekend, the parties, the one night stands, the wasting money on drinking and chasing after women. I can't believe I lost. I am done. I will never see my local bar again."

For 3 years McCauley has tried to convince the court he is an unfit father, that his daughters, Rosemary and Deliah, would be better off with their mother.

Meanwhile their mother, Blythe McCauley has stated that the girls would be better off with their dad and had petitioned the court to award full custody to him.

"Basically that bastard has spent the last three years since our divorce sleeping with as many different women as he can, living in a bachelor penthouse, having as much free time as he needed, living the single life and avoiding responsibility. Fuck him. I want to go out and pick up men, I want to watch movies and TV I like, not cartoons and 'I fucking Carly'. He can have them, I will pay him child support and he can have his life ruined by soccer practice, school visits, doctor's visits, homework, arguments about boys and of course the tantrums."

Already McCauley is feeling the pressure.

He has had to cancel his Monday night poker nights, his Tuesday night strip club night, his Wednesday night bowling night, his Thursday night video game night and both his Friday and Saturday night get drunk and pick up floozies nights.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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