Bookies' odds on Jimmy Savile case - place bets now!

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Tuesday, 30 October 2012

image for Bookies' odds on Jimmy Savile case - place bets now!
Scotland Yard's Savile evidence in undisclosed location.

Bookmakers throughout Britain have opened a book on the investigation into the Jimmy Savile affair. They are offering odds on the following.

(1) Investigation will plod along until the media are ordered from on high to dumb it down out of existence and to "pursue it no further" blah, blah, blah and it simply disappears as the public are lulled back into televisual narcosis. 3/1

(2) Investigation will be mysteriously quashed like the Australian investigation into an extensive international paedophilia ring of some four years ago that declared it had evidence that would implicate politicians in Europe as well as the UK. 2/1

(3) Investigation will be stopped by the culprits themselves many of whom are suspected to be members of power elites and high ranking politicians. 1/10

(4) High ranking politicians will be brought for trial....1000/1

(5) One very old politician will be brought to trial but will be declared unfit to stand trial or maybe even die before he can give evidence. Then everybody can go home. 8/1

(6) No American or European politicians or celebrities were ever involved in Savile's activities. 50000/1

(7) No high ranking politician will ever be brought to trial as none ever has been since the Profumo affair of 50 years ago. 1/10000000

(8) Many suspect celebs and politicians will be signing up with defamation lawyers Schillings of London. 1/100

(9) Justice will be served. 1000000/1

(10) The Freemasons are definitely not involved. Nor will a single one be present at any forthcoming legal proceedings against the 'Brotherhood". 20000000/1

(11) Nobody in Scotland Yard knew a damn thing of what Savile was up to. 200000000000000/1

(12) Savile always acted alone. 50000000000000000000000000000000000000000000/1

(13) Savile was protected from the word "go" knowing that if he was ever brought to trial he would spill the beans. 1/300000000000000000000

(14) Savile was a mind-controlled pimp for MI6 assigned to service foreign dignataries and VIPs. 1/1.

(15) The BBC, universally known as the world's most reliable and diligent news investigators and broadcasters, can be exonerated for not spotting the stinking den of iniquity right under its very nose. 10000000000000000000/1

(16) The House of Windsor, the Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh, the Masonic members of the Royal House Lodge and appointed investigators into recipients on the Queen's honours list could find absolutely nothing on Savile prior to presenting him with his knighthood in 1990. In fact, he was completely unknown to any of them except in his capacity as establishment 'saint' involved in charity work. 10000000000000000000000000000000/1

(17) The Prime Minister will bind and silence editors and broadcasters throughout the UK with an "NOT IN THE PUBLIC'S INTEREST...." official injunction; a mandate NOT to divulge any further information about the Savile inquiry under pain of treason as it will damage the UK's image abroad and possibly cause havoc with foreign relations. 1/10
(18) The Prime Minister has ALREADY issued such an injunction. 1/50.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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