Major row at Arsenal AGM over the charging of £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!

Funny story written by SpoofyDoofy

Friday, 26 October 2012

image for Major row at Arsenal AGM over the charging of £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!
£13.90 for an Arsenal fish and chips, fish caught in the Thames, fed with raw sewage from Thames Water!!

Emirates Stadium, North London: Last night at the Arsenal AGM (25th Oct 2012), there were feisty discussions on whether a trophy less Arsenal, had the right to charge £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!

Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke who was insisting that he is putting trophies ahead of financial gain, said that the cost of $13.90 for a portion of fish and chips, wasn't exorbitant!

Stan Kroenke's answer led some critics, including the Arsenal Supporters' Trust, to conclude that Kroenke was planning to pay dividends to shareholders and suggesting he was mixing up the currencies when pricing and portion of fish and chips, $13.90 instead of £13.90!

Arsenal Supporters' Trust spokesman Tim Payton took the microphone to assert that there had been no meetings with supporters since the takeover in April 2011, something that was listed as a priority in Kroenke's offer document, to discuss the pricing of a portion of fish and chips at £13.90!

Ivan Gazidis, the Arsenal Chief Executive, then stepped in. "Can I just again depersonalise this a little bit?" he said. "This club is not about Stan Kroenke, it's not about Arsène Wenger, we have to get the £13.90 fish and chip pricing correct!"

Talksport interviewer, 'The Moose', reported with a portion of fish and chips in his hands and red rosey cheeks, sat at the AGM and shouted out, "What are you lot all complaining about? I get mine for free!"

Arsenal Board members, notably Gazidis and Chairman Peter Hill-Wood, came under sustained attack from disgruntled shareholders, with one speaker earning applause by accusing Arsenal Directors of putting profit on the balance sheet by over charging £13.90 on a portion of fish and chips.

Questions about whether extra was charged for tomatoe sauce were deemed unnecessary. Fans were clearly frustrated with the club's fish and chip pricing, but the mood of the meeting was improved when Wenger took the microphone;

"For me, there are five trophies," said Wenger. "The first is to win the Premier League with fish and chips, the second is to win the Champions League with fish and chips, the third is to qualify for the Champions League with fish and chips, the fourth is to win the FA Cup with fish and chips and the fifth is to win the League Cup with fish and chips!

"If you want to attract the best players, they do not ask: 'Did you win the League Cup?', They do not ask: 'Do you play in the Champions League?' They ask: 'Do you have good fish and chips, with plenty of tomatoe sauce?'"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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