Pakistan Ends Its Traditional Elephant Races

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

image for Pakistan Ends Its Traditional Elephant Races
Timbuktu, one of the two elephants that failed the drug test. (Photo by Mayor Shampoor of Karachi).

KARACHI, Pakistan - Word out of Pakistan is that the Pakistani government has decided to put an end to the very popular traditional Karachi Elephant Races which have been held every weekend since 1968.

The mayor of the city known as "The City of Extremely Bright Lights" Raheem Saleem Shampoor, Jr., was informed of the decision by Pakistan's Minister of Agriculture Abdul Farookie Bahawawa.

Mr. Bahawawa informed the mayor that the reason for the termination of the popular weekend elephant races was due to the fact that recent drug and alcohol tests conducted on the racing elephants showed that two of the elephants tested positive for alcohol and one tested positive for anabolic steroids.

Mayor Shampoor disputed the drug test findings and was told that the government had actually taken a secondary drug test and this test, which is more involved actually found a trace of Peruvian Marching Dust, better known as cocaine.

The two elephants that tested positive were identified as Timbuktu and his half brother Timbukthree.

The Minister of Agriculture has stated that pursuant to Pakistani laws both elephants will be placed in custody and will be incarcerated at the Greater Karachi Prison For Animals.

SIDENOTE: Mayor Shampoor has reportedly contacted California attorney Ginger Allred about representing the two elephants.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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